Indlela osabela ngayo lapho kunzima ukushiyeka kwengane yakho kungaba nomphumela omangalisayo
Uphendula kanjani uma ingane yakho yenza iphutha noma ihlangabezana nokuhluleka noma ukubuyisela emuva? Uma ingane yakho ilahlekelwa umdlalo webhola lebhola, ishaywe ngumntakwethu noma umngane kumdlalo webhodi , ithola ikhadi elibi, noma likhona noma yiluphi olunye uhlobo lokubuyisela emuva noma ukudumazeka, usebenza kanjani ngokujwayelekile?
Kuye ngesimo nezimo, abanye abazali bangase basabele ekunciphiseni kwengane yabo ngokududuza ingane yabo.
Abanye bangase bagxilise kulokho ingane engenzi kahle noma bakhathazeke ngokuthi ingane yabo ayisebenzi kahle. Futhi kwezinye izimo ezimbi, abazali bangase bathukuthele ingane yabo, noma bathukuthele noma ubani osola icala-umphenyi omubi, umqeqeshi omubi, ukwahlulela okungafanele, njll.
Indlela ukusabela kwethu okuthinta ngayo abantwana bethu
Singase singayiqapheli, kepha ukuphendula kwethu ekuhlulekeni kwezingane zethu kungaba nemiphumela ehlala njalo endleleni abacubungula ngayo ukubuyisela futhi baqhubekele phambili, ukuthi bayakwazi kanjani ukuqina nokuzethemba, nokuthi bangabhekana kanjani namaphutha nokuhluleka kukho konke ukuphila kwabo . Ukuphendula kwabazali ekuhlulekeni kwezingane kunganquma ngisho nombono wengane we-intelligence, ngokusho kocwaningo olushicilelwe ngo-Ephreli 26, 2016Ph.Deissue of Psychological Science. Abacwaningi eStanford University bathola ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umzali ubheka ukushiyeka kwengane kanye namaphutha njengento enhle noma into embi ingabangela izinkolelo zezingane mayelana nokuhlakanipha, futhi futhi, kuthinta ikusasa labo.
"Izinkolelo zezingane mayelana nokuhlakanipha zinomthelela omkhulu ekusebenzeni kwabo kahle," kusho uKyla Haimovitz, PhD, umbhali oholayo wocwaningo kanye nomcwaningi eMnyangweni Weze Psychology eStanford University.
Abacwaningi babuza abazali ababili nabazali abangama-73 abahlanganyeli uchungechunge lwemibuzo ehlobene nokuhluleka nokuhlakanipha; izingane zazibafundi be-4 ne-5-grade.
Nakuba lokho okutholakele akubonisi ukuhlobana phakathi kwezinkolelo zabazali mayelana nokuhlakanipha nokuthi izingane zabo zicabangani ngokuhlakanipha, kwakukhona ukuhlobana phakathi kokucabanga kwabazali ngokuhlakanipha nezinkolelo zezingane mayelana nokuhlakanipha.
Kungani? Abacwaningi bakholelwa ukuthi kuhlobene nomyalezo wokuthi ukusabela kwabazali ukuthumela kubantwana. Ngokwesibonelo, abazali ababhekana nokukhathazeka nokukhathazeka ngebanga eliphansi lokuhlolwa bangase badlulisele umlayezo kumntanakho ukuthi angeke athuthukise ngoba ukuhlakanipha kuhleliwe. Kodwa abazali abagxile kulokho ingane engayifunda ebangeni lokuhlola elibi linganikeza izingane zabo umlayezo wokuthi ukuhlakanipha akukona, futhi ukuthi bangathuthukisa ibanga labo ngokutadisha.
Okushiwo Abazali Ukudlulisa Umlayezo Oqondile
Yini abazali abangayenza ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi ingane yabo ithola umlayezo wokuthi ukwehluleka akuyona uphawu lwezinto zabo zokuhlakanipha kanye nekhono elingalingani? Nazi ezinye izindlela ezibalulekile zokuphendula ngesikhathi esizayo ingane yakho inembuyiselo:
- Buka ukusabela kwengane yakho. Thatha umkhondo wakho ekuphenduleni kwengane yakho ekulahlekeni. Ingabe uyajabula ngoba wazama konke okusemandleni akhe? Ingabe uyazithukuthelela ngokuhluleka? Uma ethukuthele noma ecasulayo yena noma ngokulahlekelwa, zama ukumsiza ukuthi ashaye lowo mzwelo ngesifiso sokuzama okuhle ngesikhathi esizayo.
- Gxila esikhathini esizayo. Esikhundleni sokukhuluma ngokulahlekelwa, gxila ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani kangcono ngesikhathi esizayo. Khumbuza ingane yakho ukuthi noma yikuphi okungahambi kahle kungaba yithuluzi eliwusizo kakhulu lezemfundo ekuhloleni ukuthi yini okufanele ukwenze noma ungayenza esikhathini esizayo.
- Zibonise wena njengombukeli, ubukele indlela osabela ngayo ngephutha ingane yakho eyenziwe. Ucabanga ukuthi lo muntu usekela futhi unikeza iseluleko esiwusizo? Ucabanga ukuthi ukhuluma ngendlela efudumele futhi ekhululekile? Noma ingabe ingabe ingabe ibuhlungu, ihlambalaza, noma ibuhlungu? Zibone ngokwakho ukugqugquzela esikhundleni sokudangala.
- Beka ukugcizelela ngokwengeziwe inqubo kunokuba umphumela. Khuluma ngalokho okwakumnandi, lokho akwenza futhi akuthandi, nokuthi yini ocabanga ukuthi ingenziwa kangcono ngesikhathi esizayo. Msize isiteshi sakhe amandla ekuhleleni amasu esikhathini esizayo futhi sigxile kumnandi nokunethezeka kokufunda, kunokunqoba.
- Ungamniki ingane yakho isihawu. Uma uzama ukududuza ingane yakho, qaphela ukuthi ungamhawukeli, okungathumela umlayezo oyingozi-ukuthi awukwazi. "Esikhundleni sokuthi, 'Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukwenza lokhu,' qaphela ukuthi yini eyahamba kahle futhi igxila ekutholeni isisombululo," kusho uDkt. Haimovitz.
- Beka umbono wokubuyisa ngendlela efanele. Qinisekisa ukuthi utshela ingane yakho ukuthi le miphumela ayichazi ukuthi ungubani nokuthi kunezinto eziningi kakhulu ezikuhle. Khuluma naye ngezikhathi owehlulekile ngento ngaphambili nangokwenzile ukushintsha umphumela ngesikhathi esizayo. Mqinisekise ukuthi amaphutha yizinto zonke abantu abazenzayo. Ngenye yezinto ezibalulekile ezenza sonke sibe ngabantu, iqiniso lokuthi asihlali ngaso sonke isikhathi.
- Yenza okuthile okujabulisayo ndawonye. Ukunciphisa ukuzethemba komntanakho nokuqinisa ukuzethemba kwakhe ngokwenza into ayithandayo futhi enhle. Ukuphumula kwenkinga eseduze nakho kungamsiza ukuba agxile emasu namibono amasha okubhekana nokubhekana nengxaki kangcono ngesikhathi esizayo.
- Ungazami ukulungisa iphutha lakhe. Ukungena ekulungiseni iphutha ngokwakho i-helicopter yokubeletha. Ukumbonisa indlela yokuthola izindlela zokuthola ukuthi yini okufanele azenze yena uyasiza.
- Mkhumbuze ngothando lwakho olungenakunyakaziswa. Okokugcina, qinisekisa ingane yakho ukuthi uyayiphindela njalo nokuthi uzoba khona ukuthi akhulume ngemizwa nemiqondo yakhe nganoma yikuphi iphutha akwenzayo. Qinisekisa ukuthi uyazi ukuthi uthando lwakho luyinto engakwazi ukuyenza ngaso sonke isikhathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiyiphi iphutha, nokuthi angafika futhi azithembele kuwe .