Lokho Abafazi Abangenakho Ukungafaki Kuye Abavumelana Neziguli Zengculaza Nezifo
Igama elithi "ukusinda kokungakhulelwa" kwavela ngesikhathi se-Twitter exchange. Ingxoxo yayihle kulezi zizathu ezimbili:
- Kwangisiza ukuba ngicabange kabusha igama lokusinda kwengane futhi nginqume ngenye into.
- Kwangishukumisela ukuba ngibhale ukuthi abantu abangaphandle babona kanjani ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo kokungabi nabantwana.
Tweeter @mominisrael, aka Hannah Katsman of A Umama kwa-Israyeli, wazizwa ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwami kwalabo abasolwa "wayengenandaba." Ngesikhathi ngimcela ezinye iziphakamiso, njengoba ngangivulele imibono emisha, wabhala, "angazi, kodwa ngenkathi ukungaboni kahle kuphazamiseka, akufanele kuqhathaniswe nomdlavuza, ukuQothulwa Kwesizwe, njll" "Akuyona impilo esongela ukuphila," esho.
Lokho Abafazi abanomdlavuza kanye nokungabi nalutho kuhlangene
Ngangimangazwa yimpendulo yakhe futhi ngamqinisekisa ukuthi angizange ngifake ukufaka ingane engenile esifundeni esifanayo njengabaHolocaust noma abasindile umdlavuza.
@mominisrael waphendula, "Uma ngizwa leli gama, ngicabanga ngezenzakalo ezisongela ukuphila. Ngiyazi ukuthi awuzange uqhathanise nakho."
Kodwa-ke, ucwaningo luye lwathola ukuthi abesifazane abathola ukungabi nabantwana abanamazinga okucindezeleka ngokomzwelo afana neziguli zomdlavuza kanye neziguli zokuvuselela inhliziyo.
Ngokuqondene nokucwaninga kocwaningo, @mominisrael waphendula, "Babengakwazi ukufunda abafileyo." Angikuphikisana nosizi, kodwa nokho ucabanga ukuthi kuyisikhathi esibi. "
Kungani Ukungaphandle Kokungabi Nesifo Kungenenkinga Eningi Ukusiqonda
Lokhu kugcizelela ukuhluleka kwalabo abangaphandle kokuhlangenwe nakho kokungaboni ukuqonda ukuthi ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo nobuhlungu obungokomzwelo bunjani lapho kutholakala ukungasebenzi. Uma unomntwana wakho umzabalazo noma empeleni akunakwenzeka.
Lesi akusona okokuqala nginomuntu ongitshela ukuthi abakholelwa ukuthi lolu cwaningo lube olunembile. Ngicabanga ukuthi libuyela emuva ku- "Ngubani Ongenawo Okubi, Ngubani Ongcono Kakhulu" umdlalo , lapho sicabanga ukuthi singahlulela ukucindezeleka komunye noma ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo.
Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi uma ubuza othile, "Ungathanda ukuzwa kanjani, ukungasebenzi noma umdlavuza?" iningi labantu lingasho ukungabi nabantwana.
Ngokuyinhloko ngoba abantu bafuna ukuphila, ngisho noma ukuphila kwabo kunzima.
Kodwa lokhu akushintshi amazinga okucindezeleka ngokomzwelo abangase bawenze. Isifo esisongela ukuphila akusikho njalo esiholela ekucindezelekeni okujulile noma emazingeni aphezulu okucindezeleka. Eqinisweni, ngiyazi abantu abambalwa ababa ngabathandi bokuphila ngemva komdlavuza. Ukufa okukhathazayo ebusweni kwenza ukuba bawazise leli zwe ngaphezulu.
Lapho Umphefumulo Wakho Wokuphila Uphela Nakho
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngiyazi labo abahlukumezekayo abanamazinga ajulile okucindezeleka nokucindezeleka abacabanga ukuthi bazibulala. Futhi, ngokudabukisayo, abanye abantu bayazibulala ekucindezelekeni okuhlobene nokungapheli okuhlobene nokuzala . Ngakho-ke ubani ongase ahlulele "ubani onokubi nakakhulu"?
Nakuba ukungabi nabantwana kungasongeli impilo yakho, kuyasongela ukuqhubeka kwakho kofuzo. Uma ungeke ube nezingane eziphilayo, i-gene pool yakho ihamba nawe. Kuyinto uhlobo lokufa kwezizukulwane ezizayo.
Angikwazi ukusho ukuthi siyazi kanjani ukuthi siyizici zokungabikho, kodwa kukhona. Singabantu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sithanda ukuyivuma noma cha, izidalwa eziphilayo. Izinto eziphilayo zenzelwe ukudala impilo entsha.
Lapho Abangane Bakho Bebecindezelekile Kakhulu, Bacabanga Ukuba Kufanele Ube Njalo
Iphuzu lami lapha akumele libonise noma ubani ukuthi ukungakwazi ukuzala kungabangela amazinga omzwelo womdlavuza.
Ucwaningo seluvele lwenze kanjalo. Ngisuke ngizibuza ngokuzwakalayo ukuthi kungani abantu abaningi abangakaze babone ukungabi nabantwana banenkinga yokucabanga ukuthi lokhu kungaba yiqiniso.
Uma siqhathanisa amazinga abacindezeli nabangane, labo abathanda umuntu onomdlavuza noma ukungabi nabantwana, ngikholelwa ukuthi kunzima kakhulu kumjikelezo wesiguli wesiguli somdlavuza. Akekho ofuna ukubona umngane wabo efa noma obonakala ehlupheka ngesikhathi sokwelashwa.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abaningi abanenzalo yokuzikhukhumeza bayazi ukuthi, abangane nomndeni bavame ukuzizwa becindezelekile ngenxa yokungazali komuntu othandekayo. Ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo (nangokomzimba) buvame ukungabonakali kangako, ngakho-ke, kunzima kakhulu ukuthi abanye bazizwe bezwela.
Amazwana avela kubafundi
Nazi ezinye iziphakamiso abafundi ababelane nami kulesi sihloko esibucayi.
U-Eris D. uyabhala:
"Ngingumuntu odlwenguliwe." Kuleso simo, igama elithi "osindile" lisetshenziselwa "isisulu," ukukhombisa ukuthi ngiphila, ngiphulukisa, angivumeli ukudlwengula kuchaza, kungilawule noma kungibhubhise. emuva, ngakho-ke sicela ungangibizi futhi isisulu sokudlwengula.
Ngeshwa, nami ngisinye sezihlukumezi zabantwana. Iminyaka eyisithupha, amabili ahluleka i-IVF, ukuhlukunyezwa okungu-5 kuye kwaphazamisa umzimba wami nengqondo yami. (Futhi ubungane bami, uxhumano lomndeni, i-akhawunti yasebhange futhi cishe umshado wami.) Angikwazi ukusho ukuthi ngisindisiwe ukungabi nabantwana. Ezinsukwini ezithile uzizwa sengathi angikuthi-inhliziyo yami ibuhlungu kakhulu ngizibuza ukuthi ingaqhubeka kanjani ibetha. Ngiya embhedeni ebusuku futhi ngithemba ngasese ngeke ngivuke. Ngikwelashwa kepha kunzima kakhulu ukuthola ithemba. Lesi akusona isifo umuntu angakwazi ukunqoba ngamandla noma ukuzimisela; akusiyo umhlaseli ongalwa noma ubaleke noma ubize 911.
Ngicabanga ukuthi igama elithi "osindayo lokungakhulelwa" liyakwazi kahle, futhi ngithemba ngelinye ilanga ngibheke ngedwa. "
Speakeasy25 uyabhala:
"Njenganoma yisiphi isikhathi sokuthi ungubani, akekho ozokhetha omunye umuntu ukuthi awazi kanjani. Angithandi igama elithi" osindile "ngezinkinga zokungabi nabantwana? Kakhulu-ungayisebenzisi. Kodwa awukwazi ukutshela noma ubani kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini abakwaziyo noma abangakwazi ukuyisebenzisa ukuze bachaze futhi bahlathulule okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ukuze baphile indlela yokufika, ukuze baqhubeke bemile ekupheleni, ukuze benze kanjalo. Impi ehlukumeza okuyinto yokuzala ngokuqinisekile "isinda." "
I-SML iyabhala:
"Ngingumdlavuza ophethwe ngumdlavuza obuye ehlushwa i-PCOS futhi enginamandla. Ngicabanga ukuthi ubhekisela kuwe njengomuntu osindile incazelo ecacile. Ngisindiswe umdlavuza wami kodwa ngisaphila nsuku zonke ukungabi namntwana okulukhuni kakhulu into okufanele ubhekane nayo.
Ngomdlavuza wami bangayinqamula, ngangingathatha amaphilisi futhi ngiphinde ngithole ezinye izindlela zokwelapha futhi okufanayo kuya ku-PCOS yami.
Kodwa akukho lutho olwenzelwe ukungabi nabantwana futhi olungibulala ngaphezu kwanoma yini engangikubhekana nayo.
Ngomdlavuza wami kunezindlela eziningi ezinhle zokusekela nokuqonda ukuthi ngingakwazi ukubuyela kulo. Lapho njengokungakwazi kwami ukuba nezingane, yilowo nalowo nje imibono ecacile esingayamukela ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Abaqondi ukuthi lokho akusikho okufunayo ukuzwa futhi akukwenzi izinto zibe mkhuba kangcono.
Ngakho usinda.
Usinda usaphila nalolu daba nosizi nsuku zonke. Uyigwinya futhi unamathele kulowo mnomama uma kufanele uhambe kubangani bakho abafudumele futhi uma ubeka lezi zithombe zezingane zabo kuwo wonke ama-Facebook. Ungavumeli noma ubani akwenze uzizwe sengathi izinkinga zakho zingaphansi komunye umuntu. "
UJulie uyabhala:
"Ngemva kokufunda lokhu, uqinisile uthi abantu abazwela noma abanesihawu ngokuphathelene nokungazali.
Umyeni wami wadabula i-leukemia lapho eneminyaka engu-18 - ngemva nje kokuba sihlangane. Nganginaye nsuku zonke, futhi abantu babelokhu bebuza ukuthi wayekuphi, uma konke kwakulungile, futhi bonke becindezelekile. Ngemva kwesikhashana, bayeka ukukhathazeka, baqhubeka bebuza imibuzo, kodwa impendulo yayifana neyaphambili - uyayifinyelela. Izinsuku zinzima, kanti nobusuku nazo.
Futhi kamuva, utshele ukuthi wayengenasifo, ngenxa ye-radiotherapy. Kwakusabisa kakhulu, njengenye yemigomo yakhe yokuphila ukuba nezingane zakhe. Lapho ngitshela abanye kubangane bami, nginezinzwa zemizwelo exubile kakhulu. Phakathi kwabangane bami abaseduze kakhulu ngisho. Omunye wathi bathukuthele ngoba babecabanga ngendlela efanele ngesimo sonke, kanti omunye wathi ukuqhubeka nokucabanga kahle.
Angiyena owodwa ohamba phambili ngokungapheli, lowo ngumyeni wami. KODWA - akukho okuncane, kungithinta nami.
Lapho ehamba nomdlavuza wakhe, wacabanga ngalokhu. Amasonto ambalwa okuqala ayebi kakhulu, yilapho esethukuthele ngakho, ngoba wayecabanga ngakho. Emva kwala maviki ambalwa, kwavele kwaba isimiso kuye. Kodwa-ke, ukukhuluma ngokungazalwa, uye wakukhathalela ngokuyinhloko ngoba kubuhlungu kakhulu ukuba acabange. "
I-Subha ibhala:
"Lokhu kuyithatha okuthakazelisayo ekungenasifo. Ngingumdlavuza osindayo futhi ngisengqondweni yami, umdlavuza ophulukiswayo (nakuba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu) kungelula ukubhekana nokungapheli.
Ukungazali kwami kwaba nomthelela oqondile we-chemotherapy (ngineminyaka engu-25 lapho ngithola i-chemo futhi ngingenayo izingane ngaleso sikhathi). Ukuphila ngaphandle kwezinwele ne-eyelashes kwakungaphansi kokukhathazeka kunalokho engikuqhubekayo manje - kungenzeka ukuthi ngingenaso ingane yami.
Ngandlela-thile ukungabi namuntu kushaya owesifazane kanzima ... lapho kubuhlungu khona. Futhi ngokungaqondile abantu baqala ukukugxeka ngokungenasifo njengokungathi wenze okuthile okungalungile ukuba kungabi namandla. Nakuba, ngokuvamile abantu abanomdlavuza bamukela ukuthi umdlavuza usanda kwenzeka (ngaphandle uma kungumlandu oqinisekisiwe ngenxa yokubhema noma izakhi zofuzo, njll).
Ukungenzi lutho kuyinkinga enkulu yowesifazane. Kodwa ekupheleni kosuku, unelungelo lokuphila okujabulisayo noma ungazala izingane noma cha.
Iminyaka yokugcizelela ukuthi abesifazane badinga ukuzala abantwana yiyona imbangela yalesi sizi. Abanye abantu banezinhliziyo ezigulayo, abanye banesibindi esibi, abanye banezinambuzane ebuchosheni ... ngakho-ke ukungabi nalutho ... Kuyilungu noma amanye ama-hormone ayisebenzi noma abuthakathaka. Akunandaba nhlobo ukuthi sihle kangakanani noma sibi kangakanani.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama kanzima ngezinye izikhathi kuningi ongakwenza mayelana nento efana nokungasebenzi. Kungcono ukuthi samukele lokho futhi samukela ukuthi elinye lamalungu ethu alisesimweni esihle, singaqhubeka.
Uma sithanda izingane kakhulu, singazama ezinye izindlela. Akufanele sikhathalele ngalokho abanye abazizwayo. Ukukhulisa ingane yiprojekthi enkulu - okukhanyisa. Ngezinga elikhulu, kuzokwenza ukuba ubuhlungu bokungabikho buhlungu bukhulu.
Yonke le mzabalazo yenza ube namandla futhi uzwele kakhulu. Ngamunye wethu kudingeka athole izindlela zokubhekana nokucindezeleka futhi aphile ukuphila okujabulisayo.
Ngicabanga ngesikhathi, izinto zizophuthumisa abesifazane. Isilinganiso esesabekayo sokwanda kokungabikho komsebenzi kuyodinga isenzo nokucabanga. "
Ingabe uzizwa ucindezelekile? Sicela uphumelele usizo!
- Ukuhlakulela Ukusekelwa Uma Ubhekene Nokungabi Nesifo
- Ukubhekana Nokucabanga Okuzibulala
Okuningi ekubhekaneni nabangani nomndeni lapho bezama ukukhulelwa:
- 12 Izinto Okungafanele Zisho Kumuntu Ongenalutho
- Izinto 10 Zokuyeka Ukukwenza Uma Ufuna Ukusekela Umuntu ongenalutho
- Ngingawusiza kanjani Umngane ongenalutho?
- Ingabe Kufanele Utshele Abangane Bakho Nomndeni Ngokungabi Nenzuzo?
- 10 Izindlela Zokubhekana Nesimo Lapho Uzama Ukuqonda Ukukunqoba
Umthombo:
Schwerdtfeger KL, Shreffler KM. I-trauma yokulahleka nokukhulelwa phakathi kwamama nabesifazane abangenabantwana e-United States abangenabantwana. Journal of Loss and Trauma . 2009; 14 (3): 211-227. i-doi: 10.1080 / 15325020802537468.