Izindlela ezifanele ubudala zokuchaza ukulahlekelwa kokukhulelwa kubantwana bakho
Uma ukukhulelwa kwesisu kuhlasela, ngezinye izikhathi abantu abahlukumezeka kakhulu ukukhuluma ngakho ngezinye izingane zakho. Kuncike eminyakeni yobudala bezingane zakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubatshele mayelana nokukhulelwa noma cha, kungase kudingeke uthi okuthile-futhi njengomzali, kungase kube nzima ukuthola ukuthi yikuphi. Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele uzikhumbule uma ukhuluma nezinye izingane zakho mayelana nokukhulelwa noma ukubeletha .
Ukukhuluma nezingane ezindala mayelana nokuqothula noma ukuzalwa kwakho
Uma ezinye izingane zakho ziyizingane ezisencane (noma ezithintekayo), into engcono kakhulu okufanele uyenze iwukuba phambili futhi uchaze ukuthi kwenzekani ngokwemibandela engayayiqonda. Qinisekisa ukuthi uhamba kahle nokuthi ukukhulelwa komzimba noma ukubeletha akusho ukuthi kukhona okungalungile kuwe; bazise ukuthi lezi zinto zenzeka nje ngezinye izikhathi. Khuluma ngezizathu zokuthi kungani ukukhulelwa kwesisu nokubeletha kwenzeka futhi uchaze ukuthi akukho lutho olwenziwe ngokuhlukile ukuvimbela ukulahlekelwa.
Qaphela ukuthi izingane zakho ezindala zingadabukisa ukulahlekelwa ingane kanye nawe. Ingane owalahlekile yaba umfowabo noma udadewabo wengane yakho endala, futhi angase abe nomuzwa wokulahleka lapho ezwa izindaba zokukhulelwa komzimba.
Kuhle ukuvumela ingane yakho endala ukukusiza ukududuza wena, uma nje uyaqaphela ukuthi uyabuhlungu futhi. Kulesi silungiselelo, ukwehluleka kwakho kokubeletha kungaholela ndawonye emndenini wakho, futhi uvumele izingane zakho ezindala ukuba zenze ububele.
Ngokuqinisekile, lokhu akukhiphi usizi lwakho noma usizi lwakhe nhlobo kodwa mhlawumbe omunye "omncane wesiliva" ekuhlangenwe nakho kwakho.
Ukukhuluma nezingane ezincane mayelana nokushada noma ukuhlala kwakho
Kuzingane ezincane, uma ubatshele ngokukhulelwa ngaphambi kokulahleka, kuzodingeka uchaze ukuthi kukhona okwenzekile.
Futhi, qiniseka ukusebenzisa amagama abawaqondayo. Izingane ezincane zingase zingaqondi amagama anjengokuthi "ukukhulelwa kwesisu" futhi zingadinga izincazelo ngemibandela elula.
Uma izingane zakho zisencane kakhulu ukuqonda umqondo wokukhulelwa, noma uma ungatshelanga izingane zakho mayelana nokukhulelwa, ungakhetha ukungabika ulwazi mayelana nokukhulelwa komzimba. Kodwa-ke, khumbula ukuthi izingane zivame ukuthatha imizwelo yabantu abadala abakuzungezile, ngakho zama ukuqonda uma izingane zakho ezincane zenza izinyathelo ezingaphezulu noma ezicasulayo kunokujwayelekile. Kungenzeka ukuthi bakhathalela ukuthi uzizwa udabukile, lapho kungenzeka ukuthi udinga ukunikeza uhlobo oluthile lokuchaza.
Akuyona Inkohlakalo Yabo
Uma izingane zakho zikhulile ngokwanele ukuqonda ukuthi udabukile, noma yikuphi ukukhetha okukhethayo, qiniseka ukuthi ugcizelela ukuthi akuyona iphutha labo. Chaza ukuthi uMama (noma ubaba) udabukile ngenxa yokulahlekelwa ingane hhayi ngenxa yalokho abakwenzayo, futhi uqinisekise izingane zakho ukuthi uyabathanda. Phendula noma yimiphi imibuzo izingane zakho ezincane ezinayo mayelana nokuthi kwenzekani.
Emaphepheni akhe ekukhulumeni nezingane mayelana nokuhlukumeza, uMbutho WokuThathaniswa Kwabantu base-UK ukhombisa ukuthi abanye abazali basebenzisa ukufaniswa kokukhulelwa okufana nokutshala imbewu ensimini-kuphela abanye abaqhubeka bekhula izitshalo ezigcwele.
Abanye bathi umntanakho wayengakhula kahle noma awukwazi ukuhlala emathunjini omama, futhi ashiye lapho. Khumbula ukuthi kungadingeki ukuthi uhambe ngokuningiliziwe ngezingane ezincane.
Khuthaza Umsebenzi Womndeni
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uneminyaka engakanani yezingane zakho, cabanga ukwenza okuthile ndawonye njengomndeni ukuze usho ngokuhlelekile ingane. Uncwatshwe noma utshale umuthi. Noma, uma ungokwenkolo, sebenzisa isiko elibalulekile ekukholweni kwakho . Ukudala ingadi yesikhumbuzo kuyindlela yokuhlonipha ingane yakho ngenkathi kuhlanganisa nezingane zakho emsebenzini ongawusizi kuphela ukubhekana nosizi lwabo, kodwa uvumela ingane yakho ukuba ihambisane futhi isebenze.
Ezinganeni, ukuhlala okuyingxenye yokudabuka kungase kube nzima njengokuzililela.
Ukusiza Ingane Yakho Ukubhekana Nobunzima - Qala Ngakho
Kukhona i-adage endala eya, "Uma umama engathokozi, akekho ojabulayo." Kuningi iqiniso kulowo mazwi. Omama (futhi njalo ubaba) nabo bangabeka isimo sengqondo sokusebenzisana komndeni. Ukuthatha lolu lwazi esimweni sokulahlekelwa kokukhulelwa kusitshela ukuthi mhlawumbe into ebaluleke kakhulu abazali abazolilalela izingane zabo ukuthola izindlela zokubhekana nokulila kwabo.
Ukubhekana nokukhulelwa kwangasese kwamuva kuzokuhluka kuwo wonke umzali. Iziphazamiso zingasiza, kodwa ungazami ukubalekela usizi lwakho noma uzixakeke ngeminye imisebenzi ukuze ubalekele usizi lwakho. Ukudabuka kuyindlela ebalulekile yokuqaphela ukuthi ukukhulelwa komzimba kwakho kubalulekile nokuthi kuyabuhlungu. Hlelela ohlelweni lwakho lokusekela labangani nomndeni. Thola abantu ukuthi baxoxe nobani abangavele balalele, futhi abazizwe bengesidingo sokuzama ukulungisa izinto. Abantu abaningi bathola induduzo ekukhulumeni nabanye abaye bahlangabezana nokukhulelwa kwesisu. Khumbula ukuthi ukwabelana nomunye kungaba ukuphulukisa kakhulu, kodwa kuphela uma umngane wakho obhekene nokukhulelwa kwesisu ukubhekana kahle nokulahlekelwa kwakhe.
Abanye abantu bangase bahlakulele ukucindezeleka ngemva kokukhulelwa kwesisu . Lokhu kuvamile, futhi akuyona isibonakaliso sobuthakathaka ukufuna ukululekwa ukukusiza ukuba ubhekane nokulahlekelwa kwakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abanye besifazane bangabhekana nosizi oluyinkimbinkimbi, ukukhathazeka kokukhathazeka noma ngisho nokuphazamiseka kokucindezeleka ngemva kokuhlukumeza. Uma usizi lwakho luzwa sengathi lungaphezu kokuthi "ukudabuka okujwayelekile" qiniseka ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho ukuze uthole usizo oludingayo. Ukuzinakekela kubalulekile uma ufuna ukusiza izingane zakho ukuba zisebenze.
Ngaphansi
Njengabazali, sivame ukwenza konke okusemandleni ukuvikela izingane zethu ekudabukeni nasezindaba ezimbi. Ngeshwa, kunezikhathi lapho lesi sifiso sokuvikela izingane zethu empeleni sibashiye bazizwe bezodwa futhi besaba. Ukudabuka ezinganeni kungabonakala kuhluke kakhulu ekusizeni abantu abadala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukubona abazali bakhe bebuhlungu-bangenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuze bajabule. Kuleyo nqubo, kungenzeka ukuthi abazali abahlukumezekile bangaboni ukuthi ingane ayizibuhlungu noma ihlaselwe ukulahlekelwa.
Kubalulekile ukuvumela izingane zakho ezincane ithuba lokulila, kepha wena kuphela njengomzali ungakwazi indlela engcono kakhulu yokukhuluma nezingane zakho. Kungenzeka ukuthi uthole iseluleko esibalulekile mayelana nokuthi ungahamba kanjani ngalokhu kusuka kubangani abahlose kahle, kodwa yini engayisebenzela abangani bakho nezingane zabo ngeke kube yinto enhle kakhulu wena nabantwana bakho. Thembela ukuthi usesimweni esihle kakhulu sokusiza ingane yakho ibuhlungu.
Izinsiza
Kukhona izincwadi ezimbalwa ukusiza ukuxoxisana ngendaba yokukhulelwa nokukhulelwa nezingane ezincane:
- I-Rosebush kaMolly , kaJanice Cohn noGail Owens, ihlose izingane ezineminyaka engama-4 kuya kwezingu-7 futhi zinikeza i-anecdote lapho intombazane okuthiwa uMolly idabukile ngokukhulelwa komama wakhe, kodwa umndeni usebenza ngokudabuka kanye nokutshala i-rosebush.
- Sasizoba Nomntwana, Kodwa Sasibe Nengelosi Kunalokho , nguPat Schwiebert noTill Bill, incwadi enamakhasi angu-24 ehlose ukusiza abazali bachaze ukulahlekelwa kwezingane ukukhulelwa.
Imithombo:
Krosch, D., noJ. Shakespeare-Finch. Ukudabuka, Ukucindezeleka Okudabukisayo, Nokukhula Kwe-posttraumatic Kwabesifazane Abahlangenwe nakho Ukulahlekelwa Ukukhulelwa. Ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo . 2016 Septhemba 8. (Epub ngaphambi kokuphrinta).