Njengengxenye yokubhekana nokukhulelwa kwesisu noma ukubeletha , abazali abathile abadabukisayo bathola ukuthi kusiza ukunika umntwana igama njengeyokhumbuza lokho okulahlekile. Abanye bakhetha ukungakhethi igama, ikakhulukazi uma isisu sokubeletha senzeke ekuqaleni kokukhulelwa ngaphambi kokuba ubulili bungenqunywa. Bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi ukunikeza umntwana igama kwenza ukuba ukulahleka kube nomuzwa wangempela, noma bangase bazizwe bengavamile ukubiza ingane engakaze izalwe.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini oyithandayo, kufanele wenze lokho okukuzwayo kufanelekile futhi ayikho indlela eyodwa efanele yokuthola wonke umuntu.
Izinto Okufanele Uzicabange Ngokubiza Umntwana Olahlekile
Uma ukhetha ukubiza ingane yakho, nansi ezinye izinto okufanele uzicabangele:
- Abesifazane abakhulelwe bavame ukubhekisela emntwaneni ophethe isiteketiso; mhlawumbe ukhulume ngokukhulelwa kwakho njenge-Jellybean noma i-Peanut. Kuhle ukugcina lawo magama ngaphandle uma ezwa ubuhlungu kakhulu.
- Uma ngabe unegama elikhethiwe kakade kumntwana, ungase ucabange usebenzisa lelo gama. Abazali abaningi bakhetha ukugcina igama labo ababenalo uma kwenzeka bekhulelwe futhi, kodwa kungase kudibanise izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu zokukhulelwa komzimba.
- Cabanga ukusebenzisa igama oyithandayo kodwa ongayisebenzisi ingane yangomuso, njengaleyo ehlonipha isihlobo esidala, noma isihlobo esidlulile. Ukuba nomngane onjalo onjalo ngegama owenza ngalo ukukhulelwa komzimba noma ukubeletha kungase kusize ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
- Sebenzisa igama elibalulekile kuwe ngisho noma lingelona igama. Igama lomsana wakho ongenakunyakaziswa angeke lisetshenziswe yinoma ubani ngaphandle kwakho nomlingani wakho, ngakho-ke isinqumo ongayenza ngaphandle kokufuna ukungena kwabanye.
- Cabanga ngegama elingathathi hlangothi ngokobulili uma ukulahleka kokubeletha kwenzeka ngaphambi kokuba kunqume ubulili bomntanakho, noma uma unomuzwa owodwa noma omunye ngokuqondene nobulili bomntwana, ungazizwa ukhululekile unike ingane yakho igama elifanelekile kulolobulili . Khumbula, akukho okungahambi kahle lapha, kufanele wenze lokho okuzwakalayo kufanele wena nomlingani wakho.
Okulungile Kungcono Kuwe
Noma kunjalo unquma ukukhumbula ukulahlekelwa kwakho, kuyoba yisinqumo esifanele kuwe. Ungazizwa ucindezelwe ukwenza noma yini ezwa ubuhlungu kakhulu, futhi ungavumeli noma ubani akukhulume ngokwenza okuthile okukuzwakalayo wena nomlingani wakho.
Impela ayikho imithetho yokuthi umuntu kufanele akhathazeke kanjani loluhlobo lokulahleka noma ukulahlekelwa yilelo daba, ngakho-ke zinike isikhala nesikhathi sokunquma ukuthi yini esebenzayo. Ngisho noma ungenqumi ukubiza ingane yakho engafanelekile noma engakazalwa ngokushesha, uma ufuna ukukhetha igama kamuva, lokho kuphezu kwakho.
Ezinye Izindlela Zokukhumbula Umntwana Olahlekile
Kunendlela ehlukahlukene ongayikhumbula ngayo ingane yakho. Abanye abantu bakhetha ukungenzi lutho olubonakalayo futhi bakhetha ukudabuka enhliziyweni yabo yodwa, kanti abanye bakuthola kuwusizo ukuba nendlela ebonakalayo yokukhumbula impilo yomntanakho.
Ngubani ongathandi izimbali? Kukhona okuthile mayelana nezimbali eziduduza emva kokulahleka. Mhlawumbe ngoba ziyisikhumbuzo esizwakalayo sendilinga yokuphila, futhi sikhumbuze ngokuzalwa kabusha. Nanka eminye imibono yokutshala insimu yokukhumbula ingane yakho ngendlela enhle.
Ukubhekana Nokulahlekelwa Ukukhulelwa
Njengoba nje kuzohluka kusuka komuntu oyedwa kuya komunye ukuthi kufanele uqambe igama lomntanakho noma ukhumbule impilo yakhe ngenye indlela, ayikho indlela efanele yokudabuka.
Ngeshwa, ukudabuka ngemuva kokukhulelwa kwesisu noma ukubeletha kuvame ukugujwa izici zokwelashwa esibhedlela. Uma udokotela wakho engakhulisi usizi lwakho nobuhlungu, akusho ukuthi uphazamisa indlela ozizwa ngayo. Imithi yesimanje yaseNtshonalanga inqume abesifazane ngendlela ethile ngokugxila ezintweni ezingokwenyama zokunakekelwa.
Ukuba nesisu sangasese kungaholela kokubili ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kokukhathazeka . Uma ukuthola kunzima ukubhekana nakho, kubalulekile ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho. Akuyona isibonakaliso sobuthakathaka, kodwa kunesibonakaliso samandla okufuna usizo ekubhekaneni nokulahlekelwa okuphawulekayo empilweni yakho.
Okunye ukukhathazeka emva kokulahlekelwa kokukhulelwa
Ngaphezu kwezinqumo mayelana nokukhumbula ingane yakho kanye nokubhekana nokulahlekelwa kwakho, kuningi okunye ukukhathazeka okuvela khona. Isibonelo, yiziphi ezinye izindlela ezifanele ukuchaza ukukhulelwa kwesisu nokukhulelwa kwezingane ?
Ekugcineni, umbuzo onzima kakhulu uma kufanele uhlele umngcwabo ngemuva kokukhulelwa kwesisu ?
Imithombo:
UMarkin, R. Yiziphi iziguli eziphuthayo mayelana nezinsizakalo: Iziphambeko zemitholampilo ekuPhilweni kweTrase Lokuqala Ukulahlekelwa yi-Perinatal. I-Psychotherapy . 2016. 53 (3): 347-53.