Kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi ingane yakho isabele ezintweni noma ezimweni zokubhekana nazo? Ingabe kungenzeka ukuba aqaphe futhi abe namahloni noma abe nesibindi futhi angesabi? Ingabe akazithandi izimo ezizwakalayo nezishukumisayo, njengengane yokuzalwa yengane noma ingumuntu othile othanda ukuhamba phakathi kwesenzo?
Isimo sezulu sichazwa ngokuthi yizingxenye zobuntu bethu, njengokuthi ziphumayo noma ziyihloni, esizalelwa nazo.
Ingane ngayinye izalwa ngendlela yakhe siqu yokuphendula noma yokuphatha izwe elizungezile elingenasisekelo, kunokufunda noma into ayithandayo. Futhi, isimo sengqondo somntanakho sithonya indlela ahlangabezana ngayo nezimo (isibonelo, ingane enamahloni futhi ayithandi umsindo, injabulo, nezimo ezintsha kuzoba nesipiliyoni esihluke kakhulu emcimbini wokuzalwa wengane kunomntwana owehla bese eqala ukudlala imidlalo nokuhlanganyela nezinye izingane).
Izindlela ezivamile zengane zengane
Nakhu okungama-9 okujwayelekile okubonisa ukuziphatha kwengane okutholakala odokotela u-Alexander Thomas, uStella Chess noHerbert G. Birch.
Izinga lomsebenzi: Izinga lokusebenza kwengane ngokomzimba - ukuhamba, ukugijima, ukuxuma, njalonjalo - uma kuqhathaniswa nezikhathi ezingasebenzi lapho ehlezi enza umsebenzi.
- Izinga eliphezulu lomsebenzi: Izingane ezinezinga eliphakeme lomsebenzi zivame ukugcoba futhi zifake umcibisholo futhi ungathandi ukuhlala nokho.
- Izinga lomsebenzi ophansi: Izingane ezinezinga eliphansi lomsebenzi ukhetha imisebenzi ethule, ezolile.
Ukulinganisa: Ukujwayela imisebenzi efana nokudla, ukulala nokuvuka.
- Ukulinganisa okuphezulu: Izingane zibonisa ukudla okuvamile nokubikezelayo, amaphethini okulala.
- Ukulinganisa okuphansi: Izingane zibonisa ukudla okungavamile, amaphethini okulala.
Ukuphazamiseka: Izinga lapho okushiwo ngaphandle (umsindo, ukukhangisa, njll) kungathinta ukuhlushwa kwengqondo nokuziphatha kwengane .
- Ukuphazamiseka okuphezulu: Izingane ziphazamiseka kalula ngomsindo nezinto abazibonayo; unenkinga yokugxila; ukuphazanyiswa kakhulu yikuphi ukukhathazeka okuncane njengokulamba.
- Ukuphazamiseka okuphansi: Izingane zikwazi ukugxila emsebenzini ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kalula; ungakhathazeki ngokungazinaki okuncane.
Indlela / Ukuhoxiswa: Impendulo kumuntu omusha noma into efana namathoyizi amasha, ukudla okusha, njll.
- Ukufinyeleleka okuphezulu: Lezi zingane zamukele ngomdlandla futhi zihambele izimo ezintsha nabantu.
- Ukufinyeleleka okuphansi: Lezi zingane azifani nabantu abasha nabangajwayelekile, izindawo, nezinto.
Ukuguquguquka: Indlela ingane isabela ngayo ekushintsheni kwendawo yakhe.
- Ukuvumelanisa okuphezulu: Izingane zisingatha izinguquko kahle futhi zivumelane ngokushesha nezinguquko esimweni.
- Ukuzivumelanisa nezimo eziphansi: Izingane zidinga isikhathi esengeziwe sokusingatha ukuguquka futhi zingakhalela futhi zibambelele kumama, ubaba, noma umnakekeli lapho ebhekene nesimo esisha.
Ukunakekelwa isikhathi eside nokuphikelela: Inani lapho umntwana ezinikela kulo msebenzi nokuthi iziphazamiso zithinta kanjani lowo msebenzi.
- Ukugxila okuphezulu nokuphikelela: Lezi zingane azidikibali noma zikhungathekile ngisho noma kunezithiyo; baqhubeka bezama.
- Ukugxila okuncane nokuphikelela: Lezi zinyane ziyaphelelwa amandla lapho zibhekana nokuvinjelwa komgwaqo futhi zivele zikhungatheke kalula.
Isisindo sokuphendula: Inani lamandla ingane lichitha kokubili okuhle nokuphendula okungalungile.
- Ukuziphendulela okuphezulu: Izingane ezinokuziphendulela okukhulu kakhulu zivame ukubhekana nokuqina okukhulu - kokubili okuhle nokubi - ezintweni.
- Ukuziphendulela okuphansi: Izingane ezinezimpendulo ezincane zivame ukuba nezimpendulo ezincibilikile, ezingaphansi komzwelo.
Ukuphendula okubambekile: Kumele kukhuthazwe kangakanani ingane ukuba iphendule; ubuzwe bentombazane enjengokuzwakalayo, ukukhanya nokuthungatha.
Ukuphakama okuphezulu: Lezi zivama zivame ukuzwela kakhulu imisindo, ukunambitheka, ukuhogela, ukuthinta, njalonjalo; bavame ukuba abadlalayo futhi bangase babe uhlobo lwezingane ezenqaba ukugqoka noma yini ecabanga ukuthi bazizwa "ziqhakazile," nakuba abantu abaningi bengenakuzwa sengathi le ndoda iyisiqhwaga.
Isibopho esincane sokuphendula: Lezi zingane azizweleki ekuguqulweni kwemidwebo, izinto ezibukekayo, neziphunga, futhi zizovuleka ukuzama ukudla okusha; azinandaba nokuzungezwa okusha futhi angalala kalula noma kuphi.
I-Mood: Izinga lobuhlobo, obumnandi, futhi obujabulisayo uma kuqhathaniswa nokuziphatha okubi, okubi, nokungajabulisi.
Isimo sengqondo esihle: Izingane ezinemizwa emihle zivame ukuba zijabule, zijabule futhi zinobuhlobo.
Ukuzizwa kabi: Izingane ezinesimo sengqondo esibhekene nomoya omubi zivame ukuba yi-cranky, zingenabuhlobo, futhi zijwayele ukukhala.
Indlela Abazali Abangasebenza Ngayo Izindlela Zezingane Zesimo Sezingane
Ukusekela okungcono, ingane yakho bese usebenza ngobumnene bakhe, zama lokhu okulandelayo.
- Ungazami ukuphoqa ingane yakho ukuthi ibe into engekho. Uma ingane yakho ibambelela emlenzeni wakho ekuqaleni kwesikole noma esikhathini somkhosi wokuzalwa esikoleni, ungazami ukumcindezela ukuba abe njengenye enye izingane ezithandana nabazali bazo. Ngeke kusebenze, ungase uzizwe ukhungathekile, futhi ingane yakho izozizwa inecala.
- Khuthaza-futhi ukhuthaze futhi. Ungayeki ukuzama ukwenza ingane yakho izame okuthile okungahambisani nemvelo yakhe uma uzizwa sengathi kuyoba kuhle kuye (njengokuzama ukudla okusha noma ukujoyina izingane emcimbini).
- Ungahlanganyeli ekuqhathaniseni. Zama ukungasho kumntanakho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Umfowenu akenzi lokho," noma "Umngane wakho akafani nalokhu." Izingane ziyizimele, ezinemimoya ehlukene nezithandwayo. Umsebenzi wethu umzali kumntwana, hhayi ukwenza zonke izingane zibe okufanayo.
- Faka i-spin enhle. Ekuphileni, kwenza umehluko omkhulu ngendlela esibheka ngayo izinto. Njengoba nje ingane yakho isondela futhi isabela ezimweni kwenza umehluko endleleni ahlangabezana ngayo nento ethile, indlela obona ngayo ingane yakho ingathinta ukuphendula kwakho. Uma unomntwana ovame ukuqubuka uma izinto zingahambi ngendlela ayezifunayo, sebenzisana naye ukumsiza ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngendlela ethule futhi enenhlonipho, ngaphandle kokukhala izinyembezi nokuduma. Kodwa ungamenze abe nomuzwa wokuthi akufanele akhulume noma angazethembi kangako ngalokho akufunayo. Cabanga ngomntanakho bese uchaza ingane yakho kwabanye njengomuntu oqiniseka kakhulu ngalokho akufunayo nokuthandayo futhi akesabi ukuveza imibono yakhe.
- Cabanga ukuthi ubuntu bakho noma isipiliyoni sakho ubumba kanjani ukusabela kwakho kumntanakho. Uma ingane yakho inamahloni futhi uzithola uzithukuthele, cabanga ngalokho okungase kubangele uzizwe ngale ndlela. Kungenxa yokuthi ungumntwana onamahloni futhi uyazonda umqondo wengane yakho emva kwezinyathelo zakho? Noma ngabe uhlale unesibindi futhi uphuma futhi ungesabi futhi ngaleyo ndlela uzizwa ukhungathekile ukuthi ingane yakho ihluke kakhulu ngendlela owawuyiyingane? Cabanga ngalokho okwenza ngemuva kokuphendula kwakho bese uzama ukukhumbula ukuthi ingane yakho ingumuntu obumnene nezici zayo, hhayi ikhophi yakho.
- Zama ukukhumbula ukuthi kungakanani okwesikhashana. Ungase ukhathazeke ngokuthi ingane yakho izohlala njalo ngale ndlela (ukuthi uzogxuma ezintweni ngaphandle kokubuka noma okuphambene - ukuthi ngeke akwazi ukuyeka umlenze wakho); kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi, izingane, zikhule futhi zishintshe. Ngenkxaso yakho, uthando, isikhuthazo, nokunciphisa kahle (kodwa hhayi ukugxekwa), ingane yakho ingahamba kahle kakhulu phakathi komgwaqo ezintweni eziningi futhi uthole ibhalansi njengoba ikhula.