Ubudlelwane obuhle NamaLungu Wonke Amalungu Ayokhokha Izinzuzo Ezicebile
Umamazala ube yisigidi sezigidi zamahlaya, kodwa akusilo ihlaya lokuthi umamazana omuhle unengqondo. Noma kunjalo, indima kaninazala ingenye ebaluleke kunazo zonke ekuqinisekiseni izinkinga zomndeni ezinempilo. Uma ufuna ukuba ugogo omuhle, kufanele uqale ufunde indlela yokuba ngumkhwekazi omuhle, njengoba lobu buhlobo bungabeka i-ithoni yendima kagogo.
Ubuhlobo bomamazala buza ezinhlobonhlobo ezimbili eziyisisekelo: umkhwekazi / umalokazana, lapho umntwana wengane yindodana, nomamazala / umkhwenyana wakhe, lapho okuphilayo khona Ingane yindodakazi. Amantombazane amaningi amakhwenyana asuka ebuhlotsheni besibili: Umculi wesilisa uvame ukwenza amahlaya mayelana noninazala.
Okuthakazelisayo ukuthi yilokho okunye okuhlukahlukene - ukuhlanganiswa komamazala nomalokazana-okubangela iningi labangane bomama-mkhwenyana abanezinkinga ngempela. Lesi yisiphetho esifinyelelwa nguDkt. Terri Apter, umbhali Wenzani Ngempela Ufuna Kuvela Kwami ?: Ukufunda Ukusebenzisana Nabo Mkhwenyana . Ngokomagazini othile we-Time, ucwaningo luka-Apter lwathola ukuthi amantombazane angama-60% abika ubudlelwane obucindezelayo noninazala, ngokuphambene nomama-15% kuphela.
Kungani Kufanele Ucindezeleke?
Ubuhlobo phakathi komama nomkazana wendodana yakhe bugcwele ukungezwani ngoba kubangela ukuncintisana kwemvelo.
"Ngamunye ngumfazi oyinhloko emndenini wakhe oyinhloko," kusho u-Apter. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi sekushintshe izikhathi eziningi, abesifazane basabhekene nokuyinhloko yokunakekela izingane , imisebenzi yasendlini nezinye izindaba zasekhaya. I-egos yabesifazane ijwayele ukugoqwa kule misebenzi, futhi bayayigxeka kakhulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukugxeka kuningi noma kuvele nje.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ochwepheshe abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi abesifazane banembile futhi banomusa kunamadoda. Bangase bathathe ukuziphatha okungahle kwenzeke ukuthi abesilisa emndenini bangaphuthelwa ngokuphelele. Lokhu kuchaza ukuthi kungani owesifazane angathukuthelela umyeni wakhe ngokungamthathi. Le ndoda ingase ibe nenjabulo engazi ukuthi lona wesifazane uhlaselwa.
Umkhwekazi obalulekile
Umthetho oyinhloko kamamazala omfuna ukuhambisana nomalokazana "Gwema ukugxeka." Ungamgxeka umalokazana wakho ebusweni bakhe. Ungamgxothi indodana yakho noma ngisho nabangane. Ungenzi ngezindlela zokuthumela imilayezo ebalulekile, njengalezi zimo ezilandelayo:
- Musa ukuhlanza indlu yakhe. Okushiwo: Ungumnikazi wendlu ombi.
- Unganiki iseluleko esingacelanga. Okushiwo: Awenzi izinqumo ezinhle.
- Unganiki izipho ezithumela umlayezo omubi, njengezincwadi zokuzisiza noma ubulungu bokuzivocavoca: Okushiwo: Awamukeleki njengoba ukhona.
Omunye umkhwekazi omkhwenyana akufanele adlale ukunikeza ukugxekwa okugqamile njengoba kuhlonishwa. Uninazala odumisa umkhwenyana womalokazana lapho ecabanga ngempela ukuthi umalokazana uyisithameli akukhohlisi muntu.
Umama-mkhwenyana Omkhulu
Ukungqubuzana okukhulu phakathi komamazala nomalokazana kuvela kulokhu: Umama wayengowesifazane obaluleke kunazo zonke empilweni yendodana yakhe.
Manje umfazi ukhona. Yilokho okumele kube khona, kodwa omama abaningi banenkinga ngayo, ikakhulukazi uma bafelokazi noma bahlukanisile, noma bengenabo ubudlelwano obuseduze nezinye izingane. Omama kufanele bahambe ubude obukhulu ukuze bagweme ukwenza indodana ikhethe phakathi kwakhe nomkakhe, ngisho nasezintweni ezincane. Kuyinto impi engakwazi ukunqoba.
Umama kamama osizayo
Abamamazana omkhulu bangabasizi abakhulu. Bakhokhisa imali, bahamba ngezinsiza kanye nokusiza ngemisebenzi. Lona ngumkhwekazi ovame ukufika ngesidlo esiphekwe ekhaya, isikhwama esigcwele ukudla noma isipho sendlu yasendlini. Usizo lungase lwaziswa ekuqaleni, ikakhulukazi uma lo mbhangqwana usemncane.
Kodwa ekugcineni, lolu hlobo lomamazala luzobe luhlose ukuhlehlisa emuva, njengoba lo mbhangqwana uqaphela ukuthi akukhona kuphela ukuthi bakwazi ukuzinakekela kodwa nokuthi empeleni bafuna ukukwenza. Ngaleso sikhathi ukuziphatha komamazala kuyomiswa kakhulu kangangokuthi akukho lutho oluthile oluyingqayizivele oluzoshintsha. Akekho ofuna umbhangqwana osemusha ukuba ahlupheke noma ahambe ngaphandle, kodwa lapho kungekho isidingo sangempela, omamazala kufanele bavumele ukuba bazinakekele.
Ukunikeza iseluleko kungenye indlela yokusiza engakwazi ukuvuselela. Ngokuvamile, labo abafuna iseluleko bayakucela. Ukuba omdala futhi kungenzeka ukuthi kuhlakaniphile akuniki umkhwekazi ilayisensi yokunikeza iseluleko esingacelanga.
Umama-mkhwenyana wasePushy
I-Pushy yigama elithile elikhohlisayo ngolunye uhlobo lomamazala, uhlobo olungaboni imingcele. Ngezinye izikhathi lo mkhwenyana unomqondo ovamile. Ngezinye izikhathi uyathula futhi ahloniphekile, kodwa uyaqhubeka ebonisa ngaphandle kokumenywa. Nazi izindlela omamazala bakwazi ukugwema izingxabano phezu kwemingcele :
- Uma unikezwa ukhiye ekhaya lomntwana omdala, sebenzisa kuphela lapho ebuzwa ukuba enze kanjalo noma uma kwenzeka ukuphuthumayo kwangempela.
- Ungayeki ngaphandle kokushaya, futhi unikeza isaziso esanele.
- Ungacabangi ukuthi uzomenywa ngenkathi uhambo nezinsuku zokuphumula, futhi ungalindeli ukumenywa kuzo zonke izikhathi zeqembu kanye nezenhlalo.
- Uma umalokazana wakho ukhulelwe, qaphela ukuthi ngeke wamukelekile ekamelweni lokulethwa noma ekamelweni lokubhuka . Ngezinye izikhathi ugogo nomkhulu abahambeli esibhedlela , njengoba abazali abasha befuna leso sikhathi sokubopha. Njengoba kunzima njengoba leso sinqumo singase sibe ngugogo ukuthi bayamukele, kuyisifiso sabazali abasebasha.
Lapho umamazala beba ugogo
Uma umamazala eseba ugogo, ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kubaluleke nakakhulu, njengoba izingane seziyizizukulwane zabazukulu. Ugogo nomkhulu abaye bahlakulela ngokucophelela ubudlelwane obuhle bazovuna izinzuzo zamalungu omndeni athembekile. Labo abaye bakhuthaza ukungqubuzana komndeni kunalokho bangase bazithole besiza isihluku sabo sezulu esizukulu. Okubi nakakhulu, ugogo nomkhulu okhuthaza ukuxabana esikhundleni sokuzwana ngokuvamile bazithola behlukanisiwe nabazukulu babo, okuyisinye sezimo ezibuhlungu kakhulu.
Yize kubalulekile ukungabi nengxabano, kukhona futhi ingozi ukuthi umamazala nomalokazana ohlala njalo emaqanda ama-eggshell ezungeze komunye nomunye ngeke bahlakulele ubuhlobo bangempela. Ngaphandle kokukubiza ngokuthi "ukuzilalisa" futhi uxwayise ukuthi ngeke kuwuqede "ukungahambisani komthetho." Kubalulekile ukuba uninazala uvumele ubuntu bakhe bubonise.
Umamazala nabo kudingeka bakhumbule umthetho wokuqala wokuxhumana nezingane ezikhulile: Izihlobo zomndeni azizona izizathu zokunyanyisa. Phatha umalokazana ngendlela efanayo ongayiphatha ngayo noma yimuphi umuntu omusha ongathanda ukumakhelana naye, futhi impumelelo kungenzeka ukuba ilandele.