Indlela Ukululekwa Kwezinzalo Kungakusiza Ukubhekana Nokuhlunga Izinketho Zakho
Kunezizathu ezihlukahlukene zokufuna udokotela ukuba asebenze ngezinselele zakho zokungabikho. Kungenzeka ukuthi i- endocrinologist yakho yokuzala iyakhuthaza noma idinga ukuba ubone umeluleki ngaphambi kwezokwelapha ezithile, njengokuthi uma unquma ukusebenzisa isidoda noma umxhasi weqanda . I-egg kanye nabanikeli bezidakamizwa ngokwayo kudingeka babone umeluleki wempilo yengqondo ngaphambi kokuba bavunyelwe ukunikela.
Noma, ungase ucabange ukuthi ukubona umuthi kungakusiza ukuba ubhekane nomzabalazo ongokomzwelo wokungasebenzi .
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abesifazane abazwa ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo lapho bebhekene nokungabi nabantwana kufana nalabo abasebenzisa umdlavuza, i-HIV, nobuhlungu obungapheli. Ukubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa kuyinkimbinkimbi , futhi udinga usizo ngamaphesenti angu-100 avamile.
U-Penny Joss Fletcher ungumthambo womndeni kanye nomndeni ohlala eTustin, eCalifornia, onguchwepheshe bokungaboni nokuthola ukweluleka. Uqonda ukungabi nabantwana hhayi kuphela ekubonweni kobuchwepheshe, kodwa nangomuntu siqu. Ngemuva kweminyaka emihlanu yezokwelapha ezingenasifo , kuhlanganise nokwelashwa kwe-IVF , yena nomyeni wakhe banquma ukwamukela.
Nakhu okumele akhulume ngokuphathelene nokwelulekwa kwabantwana.
Isizathu # 1: Uma Ukungasebenzi Kungena Ekuphileni Kwakho
Njengoba kukhulunywe ngenhla, ukungabi nabantwana kungakunqoba kakhulu. Nakuba ukungabi nabantwana akulula kunoma ubani, abanye bakwazi ukubhekana nabo ngokuzenzekelayo.
Kodwa-ke, uma uthola ukuthi ukungabi nalutho kuthatha impilo yakho, ungase ucabangele ukululekwa.
"Uma ukudabuka, ukucindezeleka , ukhathazeka, noma ukukhathazeka kuqhubeka futhi kuthinta izindawo eziningi zokuphila kwakho kwansuku zonke, kubalulekile ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe," kuchaza uFletcher. "Udokotela ungakufundisa amakhono nokubhekana namasu okubhekana nokwehlisa okuthile kokucindezeleka noma ukukhathazeka."
Futhi, imishanguzo yokukhathazeka noma yokucindezeleka ingase ibe usizo, okuyinto into engqondweni yabantu abangakusiza ngayo.
"Iminye imithi ivunyelwe ngisho nalapho izama ukukhulelwa, kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi uhlole lokhu nodokotela wakho," kusho uFletcher.
Isizathu # 2: Uma Ukungenalutho Kulimaza Ubuhlobo Bakho
Ubuhlobo bethu bubekwe ngaphansi kokucindezeleka okukhulu lapho behluleka ukungena. Yilohlobo lokucindezeleka okungakusondeza ndawonye ngezinye izikhathi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kukudonsa. Umthelela wokungabi nabantwana ongenakho kungaba nokuphila kwakho kocansi nakho kwenezela ubuhlobo ebuhlotsheni.
Ngaphezu kwakho konke lokhu, ukungezwani phakathi komunye kungenza izinto zibe nzima nakakhulu. "Ngokuvamile imibhangqwana isingatha ukucindezeleka ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene," kuchaza uFletcher. "Ngokuvamile abesifazane bayabonisa imizwa ngokukhululekile futhi badinga ukukhuluma imicabango yabo. Amadoda avame ukugxila ekuxazululeni izinkinga futhi angazivumeli bazizwe belahlekelwa njalo ngenyanga."
Ukungenzi lutho kunzima, kodwa kunzima nakakhulu uma ungenalo ukusekelwa komlingani wakho noma oshade naye. Ngezinye izikhathi, umlingani wakho nguyena kuphela ongakwazi ngempela ukuqonda ukuthi uyaphi. Ukwelulekwa kungakusiza ukuthi uqonde kangcono futhi uxhasane.
Isizathu # 3: Uma Ungaqiniseki Okufanele Ukwenze
Umeluleki oqeqeshwe ngokukhethekile ekusebenzisaneni nemibhangqwana engenamandla angakusiza ukuba uhlele ngokusebenzisa izinketho zakho.
Umeluleki angakusiza wenze ukhetho olunolwazi olufanele futhi akusize ucabange ukuthi yini ongakhetha ngayo yokwelapha, okufaka ukucindezeleka kwezezimali nezomzwelo kulabo abakhethayo.
"Ngicabanga ukuthi noma kunini lapho umbhangqwana usemgwaqweni ngokwezinqumo zokwelapha, kungasiza ukukhuluma nomsebenzi wezempilo yengqondo," kusho uFletcher. "Ngokuyinhloko uma kungavumelani ngalokho okufanele ukwenze ngokulandelayo, ukuba nenhloso yomuntu wesithathu kungasiza."
Ukuqala ukwelashwa kwe-IVF yisikhathi esivamile ukuthi imibhangqwana idinga usizo. Eqinisweni, ezinye ze-endocrinologists zokuzala ziphakamisa kakhulu iziguli ukuba zibone umeluleki ngaphambi noma ngenkathi ukwelashwa.
"Abantu abaningi abakulungele ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo okuvame ukubhekana ne-IVF," kuchaza uFletcher. "Ukukhuluma nodokotela ngaphambi kokuqala umjikelezo we-IVF nakho kungaphumelela."
Isizathu # 4: Uma ucabanga ngeminikelo yamaGamete, i-Surrogacy, noma i-Adoption
"Isikhathi esibaluleke kakhulu sokuthola ukubonisana nodokotela obhekene nezinkinga zokungabi nabantwana lapho umuntu noma umbhangqwana eqala ukukhiqiza izingane noma ukwamukelwa ukudala umndeni wabo," kuchaza uFletcher.
Ikakhulukazi uma ucabangela ukusetshenziswa kwe-egg donor , umnikezeli wesilisa, noma umnikelo wombungu, ukwelulekwa kuyadingeka futhi kuvame ukudingeka ngaphambi kokwelashwa. Okufanayo kuya ku-surrogacy nokutholwa. Umthelela ongokomzwelo wokwenza izinqumo ezinjengalezi kungaba yinto enamandla, okunye okungahle kuqhathaniswe nemibhangqwana ethile.
"Kukhona ukulahlekelwa okuphawulekayo okumele kuvunywe futhi kudabuke lapho usuka ku-IVF usebenzisa ama-gametes akho kumanikeli wesithathu, ama-surrogates noma ukutholwa," kusho uFletcher.
Uma ukhuluma ngeminikelo ye-gamete noma i-surrogacy, ezinye izihloko umeluleki azokukhuluma nawe nomlingani wakho mayelana nokufaka:
- Ukucacisa ukuthi kungani ukhetha.
- Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi isinqumo esihlangene, kukhona kokubili wena nomlingani wakho ovumelanayo.
- Ukukhuluma ngokuthi uzoba utshela abangane nomndeni ngesinqumo sakho, futhi uma u-yebo, ungakwenza kanjani futhi nini.
- Ukukhuluma ngemiphumela yomnikelo ebuhlotsheni bakho nomnikeli, uma uyazi umnikeli.
- Ukucabangela lokho okungase kusho kuwe kanye nengane yakho yesikhathi esizayo uma ukhetha ukwamukelwa okuvaliwe noma okuvulekile noma umnikelo wegrethti. (Ngamanye amazwi, ingabe lo mnikeli uzoxhumana nomndeni wakho kamuva, noma cha?)
- Uma umnikeli noma i-surrogate engakhethiwe, ukuxoxisana ngezinqubo ozifunayo kumnikeli, futhi kungani.
- Ukucabangela nini, kanjani, nokuthi uzobe utshela noma yimuphi umphumela okhulelwe umntwana ngosizo lomuntu wesithathu. (Kungcono kakhulu ukuthi bonke ochwepheshe batusa ukutshela ingane. Kodwa kanjani futhi nini ukwenza kanjalo akuyona ecacile-ukusika.)
U-Fletch uyachaza, "Ngokuvamile, ngibheka lokhu kubonisana njengenye ingxenye 'yemvume enolwazi' ukuthi lo mbhangqwana uceliwe ukuba unikeze ukuqhubeka nokwelashwa komuntu wesithathu. Ngifuna imibhangqwana ibe nomuhle ngokwabo kanye nomjikelezo wezokwelapha lapho behamba phambili. Lesi yisikhathi sokuvuma nokusebenza nganoma yisiphi usizi, ukwesaba, noma ukujabha ekwenzeni umndeni ngale ndlela. "
Isizathu # 5: Uma Ucabanga Ngokuphila Okungabantwana
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuza emva kweminyaka yokwelashwa, noma kusenesikhathi ngokuqaphela ukuthi izinketho ezikhona akulungile kuwe, ukuqaphela ukuthi ngeke ube nezingane kunzima kakhulu. Kwabanye, ukululekwa kungasiza ekucubunguleni imizwelo ezayo nalokhu kuqaphela.
Ukwenza isinqumo sangempela sokungena ingane akufani nokuthatha isinqumo "sokuvimbela kodwa ungazami" ukuba nomntwana. (Ngamanye amazwi, sinquma ukungaxhasi imithi yokwelapha noma isikhathi socansi sokuvuthwa, kodwa futhi ungasebenzisi noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuvimbela inzalo.) Akunjalo nokuthatha isinqumo sokuthi uzocabangela ukutholwa "esikhathini esithile esikhathini esizayo." Noma ukhetha ukuthi "ungase uzame futhi ukwelapha usuku olunye."
Ngenkathi kukhona indawo yazo zonke lezi zindlela, azivumeli ukuvalwa. Ukuba khona kwengane kusekhona ezinhliziyweni zalabo abashadile. Lokhu kwenza kube nzima ukulilahla ukulahlekelwa kwabo.
"Uma umbhangqwana uzizwa ukuthi usekupheleni kokhetho lwezokwelapha, banokukhetha okubili-kungaba bukhoma mahhala noma bamukele. Ayikho isinqumo esilula, "kusho uFletcher. "Ngicabanga ukuthi kubalulekile ukuthi bafinyelele esinqumweni sangempela sokuhlala ezinganeni ezingenabantwana hhayi nje ukuvumela isikhathi sidlule ngaphandle kokwenza ukwelashwa noma ukwamukela. Kuyinto enzima kakhulu, kepha kunika amandla, isinqumo. "
Isizathu # 6: Ngoba Ungathanda Ukusekelwa Okuningi
Mhlawumbe awuzizwa ucindezelekile ikakhulukazi noma ucindezelekile, futhi awuwa ngaphansi kwamanye amaqembu angenhla. Kodwa uzizwa sengathi ungasebenzisa ukusekelwa okwengeziwe, umuntu ongakhuluma naye, ongakunika amathuluzi amaningi okubhekana nawo. Ukwelulekwa kungaba yisinqumo esihle kuwe, futhi.
Awudingi ukuba ube nesizathu, nge-se. Akudingeki ulinde kuze kube yilapho uzizwa ukhululekile kangangokuthi ucindezelekile ngempela futhi uhlaselwe ukukhathazeka.
Ngeshwa, ukubona umeluleki wempilo yengqondo kubhekwa njengobonakaliso obuthakathaka ngabanye abantu. Ukucabanga kuwukuthi uma nje unamandla ngokwanele (noma ngabe kusho ukuthini), khona-ke ngeke udinga usizo ngokubhekana nakho.
Lokhu akulona iqiniso. Abantu abanamandla bayazi ukuthi badinga usizo olungaphezulu. Ukubona umuthi akuyona into yokuba namahloni. Empeleni, ukuba nesibindi sokucela usizo kuyisibonakaliso samandla ngokwawo.
Izwi elivela ku-Verywell
Ukweluleka ngokwezinzalo kungasiza kakhulu ngezindlela eziningi-ngokukusiza ukuba uhlele ngokusebenzisa izinketho zakho ekusizeni ukuthi ubhekane nokucindezeleka kokungabikho. Ngezinye izikhathi, udinga ukwelashwa ojwayele ukwelashwa okungenasifo kanye nokwelashwa kokuzala. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma uzama ukuhlunga ngokusebenzisa izinketho zakho. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuba nomthelisi ongu "ochwepheshe" ezinselele zokuzala kubaluleke kakhulu ibhonasi ngaphezu kwemfuneko. Isibonelo, uma udinga ukwesekwa kwezinselele zomzwelo, noma ngubani umeluleki oqeqeshiwe, onesihe angasiza.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isizathu sakho, noma cha-isizathu, kufanele wazi ukuthi awudingi ukuhamba lolu hambo lwentuthuko yedwa futhi ngaphandle kosizo. Abacebisi ngaphandle lapho abaqeqeshwe ukukusiza. Futhi uma ungasebenzisa ukusekelwa okungaphezulu, finyelela kuso.
> Umthombo:
> Fletcher, Penny. Ingxoxo ye-imeyili.
> Nagy, E. noNagy, B. "Ukubhekana nokungabi nalutho: Ukuqhathaniswa nezinqubo zokubhekana nokuzivikela komzimba emibhangqwana evundile engenasifo. " Journal of Health Pathology. 2016; 21 (8): 1799-1808.