13 zizathu zokuthi kungani ukukhuluma nezingane zakho mayelana nezindaba ezinkulu kubalulekile
Lapho i-Netflix yamemezela ukuthi yakha uchungechunge lwe-mini olusekelwe encwadini kaJay Asher, "Izizathu ezingu-13," abalandeli bencwadi babejabule ukubona ukuthi kuphila. Encwadini, nakulolu chungechunge, indaba ibhekane nentombazane eqanjiwe esikoleni esiphakeme okuthiwa uHannah Baker, oshone ngokuzibulala futhi washiya amakhasethi amathrethete kubantu abangu-13 abazizwa bemshiya phansi futhi ethinte isinqumo sakhe.
Ngalokhu okuqoshiwe, ababukeli bathola ukuthi laba bantu abangu-13 bakwenzani kuHana. Ukungalungi kwabo kuhilela konke ukuhlukumezeka , ukwabelana ngezithombe ezithintekayo nokuhluleka ukumelana naye, ukuqala amahemuhemu ngisho nokuhlaselwa ngokocansi .
Kodwa ezinye izifo zengqondo nezokuzibulala zixwayisa ukuthi uchungechunge oluthandwayo lwe-Netflix lungenza okubi kakhulu kunokuhle. Ukukhathazeka kwabo okukhulu ukuthi i-movie izokwandisa inani lokuzibulala kwentsha ngoba kukhona ubufakazi bokuthi ukuzibulala kuyasakazeka. Ngamanye amazwi, uma ukuzibulala kuthola ukunakekelwa okuningi kwezindaba, amazinga wokuzibulala ngokuvamile akhula. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, abanye ababukeli bayavumelani futhi bathole ukuthi ukugqama kokuqukethwe akukona nje ukuphakama kokuhlukunyezwa okungenangqondo nokungazicabangi esikoleni esiphakeme kodwa futhi nokwamukelwa kwentsha yokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ucabangani ngalolu chungechunge, luye lwaqokomisa ukubaluleka kokukhuluma nezingane zakho mayelana nezinkinga ezintathu ezinkulu ezithinta ukuphila kwabantu abasha-ukuxhashazwa, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili nokuzibulala.
I-teenager enkulu kuphela ekhishwayo i-movie ayibheki ukuhlukunyezwa kwezidakamizwa .
Kungani Akufanele Ugweme Izihloko Ezibucayi
Ukugwema izihloko ezinzima empilweni yakho yengane ngeke kubenze bahambe noma bazigcine zingenzeki. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana kungaba empeleni kubangele kubo, ikakhulukazi ngoba ukuzibulala kuyimbangela yesibili yokuholela ekufeni kwabantu abaneminyaka engu-15-34 ubudala.
Phakathi naleso sikhathi, abesifazane abaneminyaka engu-16-19 abanamathuba amane okuba izisulu zokudlwengula, ukuzama ukudlwengula, noma ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi kunabantu abaningi. Futhi, umfundi oyedwa kulabahlanu ababika ngokuxhashazwa. Ngenxa yalokho, akungabazeki ukuthi lezi zinkinga zibhekene nentsha nsuku zonke futhi kufanele ukhulume ngazo.
Ukuxoxa ngokuqondile nezingane zakho mayelana nokuzibulala, ukudlwengula, nokuhlukumezeka akuphelelanga nje kuphela, kepha kungase kube nokulondoloza impilo. Noma kunjalo, abazali abaningi bayeke ukukhuluma nezingane zabo mayelana nezinkinga ezinzima, ikakhulukazi ukuzibulala, ngoba besaba ukukhuluma bazobeka umqondo ekhanda labo. Kodwa ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi ukuthula nokuhlambalaza kuvimbela labo abasengozini ekufinyeleleni usizo. Futhi uma ingane yakho isivele icabanga ngokuzibulala, ukukhuluma ngakho kungabangela ithemba kanye nombono ekuphileni kwabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uvumela ingane yakho ukuthi ilungile ukukhuluma ngalezi zinkinga.
Izizathu Eziyisikhombisa Zokukhuluma Nengane Yakho Kubalulekile
Uma ukhuluma nezingane zakho mayelana nezihloko ezinzima zokuzibulala, ukudlwengula, ukuxhashazwa, ubudlova obuseduze nabaningi, yiba ngqo futhi uhlome imibono nolwazi.
1. Ukukhulumisana ukuthi lokho abakutholayo akuyona ingxenye evamile yokuphila kwentsha .
Imithombo eminingi yezindaba ayibonakali ukuzibulala, ukudlwengula, noma ukuxhashazwa ngokunembile. Eqinisweni, kungase kusetshenziswe noma kuhlonishwe. Intsha idinga ukwazi ukuthi umuzwa ocindezelekile noma ukuzibulala ongase uyenze iningi lentsha bayazi, kodwa akuyona into okufanele yamukeleke njengengxenye evamile yokuphila kwentsha.
Ukukholelwa ukuthi kuphakamisa ukuthi intsha isanda kulandela isigaba nokuthi izoyithola ngaphezulu kwayo. Akunjalo. Uma othile ezwa ecindezelekile futhi ecabanga ukuzibulala, adinga usizo nokungenelela. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma othile edlwenguliwe noma ehlukumezekile ngeke nje "athole ngaphezulu." Kuzo zonke lezi zimo, intsha idinga usizo oluvela kudokotela, umeluleki, noma isazi sengqondo sokuqala inqubo yokuphulukisa .
Kudingeka futhi bazi ukuthi abazali babo bakhona ukuze bawasekele futhi babasize.
2. Chaza ukuthi yini enempilo nokuthi yini engekho. Intsha idinga ukuzwa kubazali bayo ukuthi ukuxhashazwa, ubudlova obuseduze , ukucindezelwa kocansi, ukuthumelelana imiyalezo ngezocansi, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili njalonjalo akuzona ukuziphatha okunempilo. Ukucabanga ukuthi babeka engozini yokuhlukunyezwa kwabanye. Esikhundleni salokho, intsha yakho idinga ukuzwa ukuthi yiziphi ubungane obuhle nokuphola ubudlelwane kubukeka sengathi.
Bakudinga futhi ukuzwa ukuthi bayigugu futhi bafanelwe ukuphathwa ngehlonipho nesithunzi. Ngokufanayo, akusilo impilo ukukhanya ngokuzibulala. Uma ingane yakho icabanga ngokuzibulala futhi icabange ngezindlela angayenza ngayo, udinga ukuba nenkulumo yakhe nomqeqeshi wezempilo yengqondo. Ukucabanga ngokuzibulala kungenye yezimpawu zokuxwayisa zokuzibulala.
3. Banike amandla ngolwazi nolwazi . Ukukhuluma nezingane zakho ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka ngezihloko ezinzima ezifana nokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, ukuxhaphazwa nokuzibulala, kubanika ulwazi olunembile nolusizo oluvela kumuntu abethemba kakhulu kunawe. Ngokwesibonelo, ukukhuluma ngokuzibulala akuhlwanyeli umqondo entweni yomuntu. Empeleni ivula ukukhulumisana ngesihloko esivame ukugcinwa ngasese. Ngokufanayo, ukuxhashazwa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi kuvame ukugcinwa kuyimfihlo. Kodwa uma izihloko eziyimfihlo zivezwa futhi zixoxwa, ziba namandla kakhulu futhi ziyasabeka. Ukukhuluma futhi kuxoxisana nezingane zakho ukuthi lezi zihloko azikhiphi umkhawulo futhi zingabakhuphula noma kunini lapho zifuna khona.
4. Bafundise ngemibono yalokho okumele uyiqaphele. Njengomzali, kuwumsebenzi wakho ukufundisa izingane zakho ngokubaluleka kokunakekelwa kwempilo yabo yengqondo njengoba nje wenza ngokuphila kwabo ngokomzimba. Ngenxa yalokho, badinga ukwazi izimpawu zokuxwayisa zokucindezeleka nokuzibulala nokuthi bangathola kanjani usizo uma kudingeka. T
I-hey nayo idinga ukwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokuhlukunyezwa uma kwenzeka, kuhlanganise nendlela yokugwema ukuxhaphaza izindawo ezishisayo nokuthi ungamelana kanjani nokuxhaphaza noma uzivikele . Ngokufanayo, intsha idinga ukwazi ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi kungenzeka ukuthi kwenzeke nabantu ababaziyo, njengephathi noma nomuntu othandana naye. Ukugcizelela ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili akuyona neze iphutha labo nokuthi ngeke ubabeke icala ngisho noma bephula umthetho womndeni. Qinisekisa ukuthi bayazi ukuthi ufuna ukuthi bakhulume nawe.
5. Gcina imigqa yokuxhumana ivulekile . Uma ukhuluma nezingane zakho njalo ngezihloko ezinzima nezibucayi, ukhuthaza ingqondo ngezingane zakho ukuthi ukhona ukuze usize. Ngokungazelelwe, akukho sihloko esihlazisa kakhulu ukuxoxa futhi bazizwa sengathi bangakubuza noma yini.
6. Bafundise ngalokho okungenzeka uma bengakhulumi . Kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho iyazi ukuthi ukugcina izimfihlo ngokuxhashazwa, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi nokuzibulala akuphilile futhi akuhlakaniphile. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umuntu obhekene nobunzima yibo noma umngane, lezi akuzona izinkinga okufanele zibhekiswe ngedwa noma ngaphandle kosizo lomdala. Qinisekisa ukuthi bayazi ukuthi ukukhuluma nabanye, kuyilapho kungase kubuhlungu noma kuhlazise, kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuthola usizo. Futhi uma bengatshele muntu ngalokho abakuzwayo (noma ukuthi umngani ubhekene nakho), izinto zingaba zimbi nakakhulu.
7. Ukukhuluma ukuthi abodwa . Imizwa yokuba nesizungu, ukulahlwa, nokungabi nethemba kuvame izisulu zokuxhashazwa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili kanye nabantu abazizwa bezibulala. Ngenxa yalokho, ukukhuluma ngalezi zindaba nokuvumela intsha ukuba iveze imizwa yabo ikhuluma ukuthi umuntu uyabakhathalela nokuthi ayedwa. Ungalokothi ubeke phansi amandla okuzwa asekelwe. Ngisho noma ingane yakho ingenayo into ebalulekile ekuphileni kwayo, ukukhuluma njalo kusabenza bazi ukuthi uyakhathalela nokuthi ukhona kubo.
8. Khombisa ukuthi kukhona usizo olutholakala . Uma ukhuluma nentsha yakho ngalezi zinkinga ikusiza ukuba uthole isithombe esingcono salokho abakuzwayo, ukuthi yini abakubona esikoleni nokuthi yini abakhuluma ngayo. Futhi uma ingane yakho inenkinga ethile, unganikeza uthando olungenasisekelo nokusekelwa kanye nokuthola noma yiluphi uhlobo lusizo olungaphandle olungadingeka. Lokhu kungakhuthaza kakhulu izingane ukuba ziqaphele ukuthi othile angabasiza bazizwele ngalokho abakutholayo.
9. Khuluma ukuthi bangazizwa beba ngcono . Akekho osemusha othanda ukuzwa enesizungu futhi edabukisayo. Abathandi ubuhlungu nokuhlazeka okungenzeka ngokuhlukunyezwa, ukudlwengula, ngisho nokuzibulala. Uma ukhuluma njalo nomntanakho ngalokho okuvamile futhi okungekho, lo mlayezo uthola. Ngenxa yalokho, baningi amathuba okubona ukuthi indlela abazizwa ngayo ayilona evamile futhi bakhulume nawe ngakho. Futhi bangase bazimisele kakhulu ukuthola usizo kubangane babo abahlukunyezwa nemizwa yokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka.
10. Gcizelela ukuthi akufanelekile . Ngokuphindwe kaningi, intsha ikholelwa ukuthi uma ukuxhashazwa noma ukuhlaselwa ngokocansi kwenzeka, khona-ke isisulu senze okuthile ukufanelwa. Kodwa uma ukhuluma nezingane zakho njalo uzoqala ukuqaphela ukuthi akekho ofanelwe ukuhlukunyezwa futhi akekho ofanelwe ukudlwengulwa. Akukona nje ukuthi lo mlayezo ulungile ukuthi intsha yakho izwe, kodwa futhi ibasiza ukubazwela nabantu abazi ukuthi bahlukunyezwe. Futhi, kungenzeka ukuthi baphinde baphinde bakholwe lo mlayezo-ukuthi akekho ofanelwe ukuxhashazwa noma ukudlwengulwa-uma ukhuluma ngaso sonke isikhathi.
11. Banike imibono yokuthi bangathola kanjani usizo . Qinisekisa ukuthi izingane zakho azi ukuthi zingakhuluma nawe, kodwa nokuthi zikwazi ukuthola usizo ngezindlela. Khuluma nabo ngemigqa yokushisa yokuzibulala, imigqa yokudlwengula, kanye nezindleko zabacebisi besikole. Kubalulekile ukuhlomisa intsha yakho ngamathuluzi ukuxazulula lezi zinkinga ezinkulu.
12. Nciphisa inhlamba ekukhulumisaneni ngezihloko ezishisayo . Uma uxoxisana ngalezi zihloko nentsha yakho, lapho ususa khona inhlamba futhi unike izingane zakho ithuba lokukhuluma ngokukhululekile nangenkululeko. Qinisekisa ukuthi izingane zakho ziyazi ukuthi akukho sihloko esinqamulayo imingcele nawe. Ngokudala lolu hlobo lomkhathi ekhaya lakho, izingane zakho cishe ziza kuwe ngemibuzo kanye nokukhathazeka. Lokhu akusho ukuthi akudingeki ukuba ubukele izimpawu zokuxwayisa ukuzibulala noma izimpawu zokucindezeleka. Kodwa ukuxoxisana okuvulekile nezingane zakho kwandisa amathuba okufinyelela kuwo.
13. Siza ukuvimbela lezizinto empilweni yabo . Nakuba kungekho ingxoxo ezoqeda ngokuphelele ingozi yokuzibulala, ukuxhashazwa noma ukudlwengula, ingahamba isikhathi eside ekufundiseni izingane zakho ngalokho okungenzeka. Futhi ngisho noma ingane yakho ingalokothi ibhekane nanoma yikuphi kwalezi zimo, izingqinamba ziphezulu kakhulu ukuthi umuntu obaziyo uyazi. Uma ukhuthele ukukhuluma nabo ngezihloko ezinzima, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi bazokwazi ukuthi bangaza kuwe usizo.
> Imithombo:
> "I-Media Contagion kanye nokuzibulala Phakathi Kwabancane," Columbia University. http://www.ensani.ir/storage/Files/20110209140608- سرایت% 20 ingxenye% 20% 20%% 20% 20%% 20% 20% pdf
> "Izingane Nezibalo Zezingane," i-RAIIN. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/children-and-teens
> "Izibalo Zokuxhashazwa," iPacer's National Bullying Prevention Centre. http://www.pacer.org/bullying/resources/stats.asp