Nakhu Okungafanele Ukwenze Uma Uxhashazwa
Iningi labantu lisho kahle uma linikeza iseluleko ekubhekaneni nesimo sokuxhashazwa . Kodwa ngaphandle kokuba baqeqeshwe ekuvimbeleni ukuxhashazwa noma beye babhekana nokuhlukunyezwa ngasese, iseluleko sabo singase siphumelele noma siphume ngaphandle.
Isibonelo, iningi labantu linikeza iseluleko esiningi se-cliche-type njenge: "Gcina isisindo sakho," "Ungakuvumeli ukuba wehlise phansi," noma "Lokhu nakho kuyodlula." Okwamanje, abanye abantu banikeza iseluleko akuyona nje eyingozi kodwa futhi kuyiphutha elibi.
Futhi ukulandela iseluleko sabo kungakuthola wena noma ingane yakho ukulimala noma enkingeni.
Ukubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa kuyinkimbinkimbi njengoba kungaphandle kokuphonsa iseluleko esibi kulo mxube. Nazi izinto ezinhlanu abantu abavame ukusho uma bethola ukuthi ingane yakho ixhashazwa. Qinisekisa ukungalandeli lesi seluleko. Ukwenza kanjalo kungenza isimo sakho sibi nakakhulu.
"Mbuyise"
Abazali besikole samabanga aphansi basebenzisa lesi seluleko. Kodwa ukuphendula kwengane ngokuphawula ukuthi "ukumshaya" akuyona nje eyingozi futhi engasebenzi, kodwa kuyisiqalo sobubele ububele. Ukutshela ingane ukuthi imshaye ngaphandle kokukhuluma ngalokho okwenzekayo, uhlobo olubi kunazo zonke lokushayela umzali lunganika ingane. Kunalokho, khuluma nengane yakho ngalokho okwenzekayo. Thola ukuthi yini umuntu ohlukumezayo ayenzayo futhi acabangele imibono yokuthi kungcono kanjani ukubhekana nalesi simo. Bese ukhuluma nenhloko noma uthisha ngalokho ingane yakho ihlangabezana nakho. Thola ukuthi isikole sihlose ukwenzani ukuze isikole sivikeleke ingane yakho.
Nakuba ukushaya enye ingane akukhuthazwa, akusho ukuthi ingane yakho akufanele izivikele kumuntu ohlukumezayo . Isigaba esihle sokuzivikela singabonisa izingane ukuthi zingasichaza kanjani noma zivimbele izimpondo, ukususa kanjani ukuboshwa komuntu kusuka esihlakaleni sabo nendlela yokuphuma kwezinye izimo ezihlukahlukene. Kodwa akusilo iseluleko esihle sokukhuthaza ingane ukuba ilwa nomuntu okungenzeka abe mkhulu futhi onamandla.
Khumbula ukuthi umhlukumezi angase afune ukulwa futhi uzolungele into enjalo. Esikhundleni salokho, fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi ungamelana kanjani nomuntu ohlukumezayo ngendlela enenzuzo futhi enenjongo.
Okokugcina, ukutshela ingane ukuthi ibulale enye ingane iza nemiphumela. Awunazi ukuthi ingane yakho izoyithatha kude kangakanani. Ngokwesibonelo, angase amiswe okwesikhashana noma axoshwe esikoleni noma angase ahlasele amacala afakwe kuye uma ehamba kakhulu. Futhi, ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, ezinye izingane ziphindiselele ngokubhekana nezingane ezizithukuthele ngezikhali noma izibhamu. Qinisekisa ukuthi ufundisa ingane yakho izindlela ezingcono zokubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa.
"Ungayinaki"
Nakuba iseluleko esihle sokwenqaba ukusabela lapho umhlukumezi eshoyo noma enza okuthile, ingane yakho akufanele ifane sengathi ukuhlukunyezwa akukwenzeki. Kunalokho, udinga ukutshela umuntu omdala, uthisha noma umqeqeshi okwenzekayo. Khumbula, ukuxhashazwa kumayelana namandla nokulawula. Uma umhlukumezi ekwazi ukuthulisa ingane yakho, khona-ke umxhashazi unamandla amakhulu ngaphezu komntwana wengane yakho.
Esikhundleni sokutshela ingane yakho ukuthi inganaki ukuxhashazwa, mfundise indlela yokuphendula kumuntu ohlukumezayo ngezindlela ezinempilo. Enye indlela angayenza ngayo ukulawula impendulo yakhe. Ngokwesibonelo, akudingeki akholelwe amanga okukhulunywa ngaye ngaye.
Akayena olahlekile, i-nerd noma enye i-label engekho umlutha osebenzisayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, akudingeki athole ukucabanga okuhlukumezekile. Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba ivuselele ukucabanga kwayo ngokuhlukunyezwa kodwa hhayi ukuzenza sengathi ayikho. Kudingeka abhekane nekhanda ukuze abhekane ngokuphumelelayo nokuhlukunyezwa.
"Ungabi I-Tattletale."
Uma umuntu ephendula isisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngale mpendulo, athumela imiyalezo eminingana. Okokuqala, batshela ingane ukuthi ukubika ukuhlukunyezwa kuyinto embi. Okwesibili, baxoxisana nokungabi nesithakazelo ekusizeni ukuxazulula le nkinga ngokunikeza ingane ibhulashi.
Esikhundleni salokho, izingane zidinga ukufundiswa umahluko phakathi kokukhipha nokubika. Kudinga isibindi ukubika ukuhlukunyezwa kanti izingane zidinga ukwazi ukuthi kuyamukeleka ukukhuluma ngakho nabantu abadala.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, othisha ikakhulukazi kudingeka baqaphele imiyalezo emibi ayithumelayo uma bengaphenduli izikhalazo zokuxhashazwa. Ukuze kuthuthukiswe imvelo yokufunda esikhiqizayo esikoleni, ukuxhashazwa kufanele kuqondiswe ngokushesha futhi ngendlela efanele. Ukulindela izingane ukubhekana nezinkinga zokuxhashazwa ngokwabo ngokwabo zithinta yonke imvelo yesikole.
Okokugcina, njengomzali kufanele ugweme ukubiza ingane yakho ukuba yi-tattletale uma ebeka izindaba kuwe, ikakhulukazi uma kuhilela ukuhlukunyezwa kwabantwana bakho. Uma utshela ingane yakho njalo ukuthi uyisimo se-tattletale, ekugcineni uzoyeka ukukhuluma nawe ngezinkinga ezinkulu empilweni yakhe. Awufuni neze ukuvimbela umugqa wokuxhumana onakho nengane yakho. Ngisho noma uzizwa engakwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga eyedwa, thatha isikhathi sokulalela izikhalo zakhe.
"Yenza ngisho."
Ngokuphambene nalokho abantu abangakutshela khona, ukuthola noma ukufuna ukuziphindiselela ngeke kukuthande wena noma ingane yakho. Kunalokho, ukuphindiselela kuzokushiya kokubili uzizwa ungenalutho futhi ucindezelekile. Umzila ongcono ukugxila kulokho ingane yakho ingakwazi ukuyilawula njengokuphendula kwayo ekuhlukunyezweni nokuthi uzobhekana kanjani nesimo.
Izikhathi eziningi abazali baphendukela kwimidiya yomphakathi ukuze babelane ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwengane yabo ngokuhlukunyezwa. Kodwa lena yinto embi kakhulu ongayenza. Akukhona nje ukubandakanya ukuhlambalaza komphakathi ngokuhlukumezeka ngokwakho, kodwa futhi kuhlukumeza ingane yakho ngokwenza isimo esidabukisayo kakhulu esidlangalaleni. Kubuye kumise ukuba ahlukunyezwe okwengeziwe. Ezinye izingane zingase zihlanganyele ekuhlukumezweni uma zibona ukuthi zithola ukusabela okukhulu okunjalo.
Esikhundleni salokho, gcina ukuhlukunyezwa ngombono . Ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi kakhulu ukukhathazeka ngalokho okwenziwe yi-bully kumntanakho kugxila ekuhlukunyezweni esikhundleni somntanakho. Zama ukuxoxa njalo nengane yakho bese unquma ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Khona-ke, thatha izinyathelo ukumsiza ukuba ahambe ngaphezu kokuxhashazwa.
Ekugcineni, ungakwazi ngisho nokukhuluma naye ngokuthethelela umhlukumezi . Ukuthethelela akukona kuphela ukuqinisa ukuqina , kodwa futhi kuvumela ingane yakho ukuba ibuyise amandla akhe esimweni. Khumbula, ukuthethelela kuyisinqumo futhi kuvumela ingane yakho ukuba ivumele ukungabi nabhekene nesimo futhi iqhubekele phambili.
"Yilwe Nomlilo Nomlilo."
Ngamanye amazwi, lokho abantu abakushoyo ukuthi ingane yakho ixhaphaza u-bully. Lesi siphakamiso singase sihlanganise noma yini kusuka ekuhlaziseni esidlangalaleni isihlukumezi ku-Intanethi ukusakaza amahemuhemu . Abanye bangase basikisele ukuthumela i- subtweeting , ukuthumela kuma-social media noma nokuba nomngani esongela noma esabise lowo ohlukumezayo. Nakuba lezi ziphakamiso zingase zithole umhlukumezi ukuthi ayeke ukukhomba ingane yakho, nazo zimenza abe yisithukuthezi naye. Zibuze ukuthi ufuna ngempela ingane yakho ukwehlisa izindinganiso zakhe kuze kube sezingeni le-bully.
Esikhundleni sokukhuthaza ingane yakho ukuba isisulu somhlukumezi , msize afunde indlela yokulwa nokuxhashazwa ngezindlela ezinempilo. Izikhathi eziningi izingane zithatha ukuhlukunyezwa kwazo futhi ziguqule zibe into enhle. Ngokwesibonelo, ezinye izingane zizoqala iqembu lokusekela kwezinye izingane ezihlukumezayo. Noma, bangase bahole umkhankaso wokuvimbela ukuxhaphaza esikoleni.
Esinye isibonelo somfundi owenza lokho nje yiCainlin Haacke, owathuthukisa i-Positive Post-It Day esikoleni sakhe. Ngemva kokuhlukunyezwa, esikhundleni sokungena ebuhlungu abuzwayo, waya esikoleni futhi wabeka amanothi e-Post-It ngamazwana akhuthazayo nokukhuthazayo ekwakhekeni komuntu wonke. Kusukela kulesi senzo esisodwa, ukunyakaza konke kwazalwa. Futhi, okubaluleke nakakhulu, kwamvumela ukuba athole injongo ekuhlukumezweni ayenayo. Wayengekho isisulu, kodwa usebenzisa lokho akuhlangenwe nakho ukusiza abanye abantu.
"Khuluma."
Ezinye izikole namabhizinisi basacabanga ukuthi ukubeka umhlukumezi kanye nesisulu ekamelweni elilodwa kuwumqondo omuhle. Kodwa ukuxolelana akusebenzi neze ngenxa yokungalingani kwamandla okukhona phakathi kwalaba ababili.
Enye yezingxenye ezintathu eziyinhloko zokuxhashazwa yilezi zithi umenzi wobugebengu unamandla amakhulu kunalokho okuhlosiwe. Ukuzama ukuyixoxisana noma ukuyikhulumela kuyoshiya isisulu esicindezelekile kakhulu. Izikhathi eziningi, izisulu zokuxhashazwa ziyesaba kakhulu ukukhuluma futhi zikhulume ngalokho okwenzeka ngempela. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izihlukumezi zisebenzisa ukwesatshiswa ngesikhathi sokuxoxisana ukuthulisa isisulu. Ukufinyelela eqinisweni okwenzekile ngeke kuvele kulezi zenzakalo.
Uma ngabe ingane yakho esikoleni ibonisa ukuhanjiswa, ungavumeli ingane yakho ukuba iqhaza. Lesi sinyathelo ngeke sisize ingane yakho futhi singabangela ukuhlukumeza okuningi. Esikhundleni salokho, sikisela ukuthi abaphathi besikole bakhulume nesisulu, abahlukumezayo nabaphikisanayo ngokwehlukana. Ngale ndlela, ingane yakho izoba mahhala ukwabelana nge-akhawunti yakhe yalokho okwenzekile ngaphandle kokwesaba. Futhi, qiniseka ukuthi izinyathelo zithathwa ukuvikela ubumfihlo nokuphepha kwengane yakho. Ukwesaba ukuphindisela kungokoqobo.
Abaqondisi besikole banokuziphatha, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngokomthetho, umthwalo wemfanelo wokugcina ingane yakho iphephile esikoleni. Qinisekisa ukuthi benza konke abakwaziyo ukuphela kokuqeda ukuxhaphazwa kodwa ukugcina ingane yakho iphephile ezigamekweni ezizayo.