Okufanele ukwenze uma wena noshade naye ningaboni ngaso sonke isikhathi isiyalo
Ukuyala izingane - kanye nokubeletha ngokujwayelekile - ngumsebenzi odinga ukuphathwa njengeqembu, bobabili abazali basebenza ndawonye ukuze benze okusemandleni ingane yabo. Kodwa njengoba wonke umbhangqwana uhlanganiswa nabantu ngabanye, abanokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukile kanye nemigomo yomuntu siqu, kungokwemvelo ukuthi abazali bangase bangavumelani ngaso sonke isikhathi ngezinqumo zabo zomlingani noma izitayela zabazali .
Nansi indlela ongayisebenzisa ngayo lezo zimo ezikhohlisayo uma ungavumelani ngesiyalo futhi izindlela zakho ezihlukene zokubeletha ziholela ekungqubuzaneni nasekubhekaneni.
Beka imigomo yakho evamile
Yini nonke enifuna ukuyifeza ezinyathelo zokuqondiswa kwezigwegwe? Ingabe ufuna ingane yakho ilalele kangcono ? Ungalwi nezingane zakubo ? Thatha amathoyizi akhe? Bese ukhuluma ngokuthi ufuna ukufeza kanjani lo mgomo: ngokusebenzisa ukukhuluma, amashadi okuziphatha , ukuphuma kwesikhathi , ukulahlekelwa amalungelo, noma eminye imiphumela .
Khuluma ngalokho okuhamba kahle
Ungase ungavumelani ngento okwamanje kodwa kubalulekile ukuhlale ukhumbuza - ikakhulukazi uma ungekho ekhasini elifanayo - kuzo zonke izinto ezisebenzayo. Ingane yakho ingane encane enomusa ozwela futhi ethande ukusiza abanye ? Ingabe unenkinga ngokwenza umsebenzi wesikole, okungenzeka kubangelwe ukuba nomsebenzi wesikole kakhulu noma ukufunda inkathazo, hhayi ukuziphatha, kodwa uthanda ukufunda ?
Dumisani umsebenzi owenzile nomunye futhi uqaphele ingane emangalisayo okhulisayo.
Hlonipha indlela yomlingani wakho kanye nombono wokubuka
Lalela ngaphandle kokuphazamisa futhi ucabange ngempela ngalokho akushoyo. (Uma kunesidingo, vuma ukuthatha ikhefu engxoxweni ukuze bobabili ningabi nesikhathi sokucabanga ngalokho omunye okushoyo.) Futhi ungalokothi ungcolise umngane wakho.
Uma umzali othile egxekeza omunye ngaphambi kwezingane noma engcolisa igunya lakhe (nithi, ngokunikeza i-candy yezingane uma omunye umzali echaza ukuthi ayikho amaswidi ngaphambi kokudla kwasekudleni), ithumela izingane imiyalezo exutshwe futhi ihlukumeza kokubili igunya labazali kanye nokusebenza kahle. Ngisho noma ungavumelani nesinqumo somlingani wakho, hlonipha futhi usebenze nomlingani wakho ukuze uzame ukwenza ushintsho ngaphandle kokuhilela izingane.
Ungaphikisani phambi kwengane yakho
Inkinga yokuziphatha kwengane yakho ibonisa ukuthi isivele idinga isiqondiso nesiyalo kusuka kuwe. Uma ulwa phambi kwengane yakho, kuzongeza kuphela kunoma yiziphi izinkinga ayenayo futhi kuzomenza angabinaki, angathukuthele, akhathazeke futhi athukuthele. Ukuze uthole ukuqeqeshwa okuphumelelayo, udinga isisekelo sokuthembela, ukuthula, ukuzola, nokuvikeleka, nokuphikisana phambi kwengane yakho kuholela ekuphambene ngokuphelele nalokho.
Cabangela ukuthi yini engase ibe ngemuva kwesimiso sokuqondisa
Abazali bavame ukwenza izinqumo mayelana nokubeletha kanye nesiyalo esekelwe ekuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ebuntwaneni. Kungenzeka ukuthi umlingani wakho uphonswe njengengane futhi uyibheka njengendlela ephumelelayo yokuziphatha futhi ukholelwa ukuthi abazali abathanda izingane zabo kufanele babambe izingane zabo. Noma umzali oyedwa kungenzeka avela endaweni yokungavikeleki - engafuni ukulandela isiyalo nemiphumela ngoba ukhathazekile ukuthi ingane yakhe ngeke imthande.
Vumelana neminye yemingcele okufanele ube nayo
Ngesikhathi umzali oyedwa engase akholelwe ukuthi ukuphamba kuyindlela ephumelelayo yokuthola izingane ukuba ziphathe, inqwaba yocwaningo kanye nochwepheshe bezempilo kanye nentuthuko yengane (njenge-American Academy of Pediatrics) bayavuma ukuthi isijeziso somuntu ongekho kuphela esingasebenzi, kodwa singaholela imiphumela eminingi engalungile yabantwana kuhlanganise nokunyuka okukhulu, ukuziphatha okungahambisani nomphakathi, ukungabi nabubele, nokulimala kwesibopho somzali nengane . Ngokufanayo, ukumemeza kuye kwahlanganiswa nemiphumela emibi ezinganeni. Khuluma nomlingani wakho ukuthi kungani ezinye izinhlobo zokuziphatha zingase zibe yingozi futhi zixoxisane nezinye izindlela ezizosebenza kangcono ezinganeni.
Thola leyo ndlela yesithathu
Kungenzeka ukuthi akudingeki ukuba ngowakho noma kumami - ungahlala phansi ndawonye futhi ufike nesisombululo esibandakanya kokubili izikhundla zakho futhi into entsha ongayenza ndawonye.
Ukushintshana
Lokhu kuyinto okungenzeka ukuthi njalo ucela ingane yakho ukuthi iyenze nabangani noma umntakwethu. Kodwa kuyinto enhle abazali ukuba bayenze futhi, ikakhulukazi uma bengavumelani nesiyalo . Zama indlela yomlingani wakho bese uzama eyakho futhi ubone ukuthi iyiphi ephumelela kakhulu. (Futhi khumbula: Okusebenza kumntwana oyedwa kungase kungasebenzi komunye; uma kuziwa ekuqondiseni izingane, asikho isixazululo esisodwa esihambisana nakho konke.)
Lapho konke okuhlulekayo, khuluma nomshayeli nomndeni womuthi
Khuluma nodokotela wezingane wengane yakho noma uhlole i-website ye-American Academy of Marriage and Family Therapy ukuze uthole isazi esingaba usizo.